Wingless and Beautiful

Chapter 4

"You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world...but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices.” – The Fault In Our Stars, now in theatres!

Chapter Four

I kept coming back to the Center every day for more than a month.  Since the night after my meteor shower date with Hunter, I couldn’t wipe off the smile on my face.  I felt lighter inside.  I also find it easier to sleep at night.  My nightmares were somehow replaced with dreams of the magnificent boy I met at the most unlikely place.

Hunter and I would usually stay in our garden.  He would wait for me at the front steps and we’d go to our garden together.  He would always have his guitar case slung on his back.  And I would always play the song, “In the Arms of an Angel” for him.  

It was like we have our own world and no one can touch us… hurt us or haunt us here… in our garden.  Hunter takes my breath away.  He is devilishly handsome… and heavenly sweet.  He would give me flowers almost every day.  He would serenade me with his beautiful voice.  He would kiss my scars every day before I go and tell me that he would chase my nightmares away.

One afternoon, as the sun prepares to set, we were sitting under a tree in our garden.  I was sitting between Hunter’s thighs, resting my back against his chest, with his arms wrapped around me.  I played him the song on the guitar.  I sang the words with my heart, and he listened to me intently.  My head was rested against his broad shoulder.  He leaned his cheek against mine… close to where my scar was.  I would feel him occasionally kiss my temple, then my scars.  His soft, lingering kisses were speaking to my soul, pulling at my heartstrings.

When I strummed the last chord, I turned my head to look at his face.  He leaned forward and kissed me softly on the lips.

“I guess that’s your song for me.”  He said, smiling gently.  Then his face turned sober.  “You are my angel, Allisson.  With you in my arms… I find hope… courage… comfort…”  He took a deep breath and added, “Love.”

I raised my hand and cupped his cheek.  He turned sideways and kissed my palm.  He took a deep breath and then he smiled.

“When I came to this place, I felt it was a curse.  It was my death sentence.  I went here to punish my Father… punish myself.  I lost the will to live… the will to fight.  This was my hell.”  He shook his head very gently.  “I never thought I would find heaven here… never occurred to me that I would meet an angel amidst all the anger and misery that I feel.”

“You’re too young to waste your life in anger and misery, Hunter.”  I said to him.  “Like me… life goes on.  Our mothers left us… but the only way we could really make them live in our memories… is if we start living our lives again.  Forgive.  And move on.”

“When I came here, I have no sense of purpose anymore.  I have no will to let go of that tragic day.  I live that day over and over in my head for the past three hundred and sixty-five days.  I didn’t want to see again, because I thought nothing in the world is good… and beautiful anymore.”  He took a deep breath.  “But I would give everything just to see your face right now.”

I smiled and then I leaned forward to kiss him.  I put the guitar aside and shifted my body so I could face him properly.  I took his hands in mine and then I brought them to my face.  He touched every inch of it, as if he was memorizing my features, imagining in his mind what I looked like.

He gave me a crooked smile.  “You’ve been lying to me.”

“What?”  I asked.

“You’re not horrendous.”  He said.  “Not even close.”