Pushed To The Edge (Bon X Rin)

Chapter 15

  Bon's POV

     I glanced down at Rin's sleeping form, wondering what he saw that got him so worked up. After he saw Yukio, he had started freaking out and telling me that he just wanted to go back to the dorm. Okumura~sensei had offered to come with us, but one look at Rin's face told me it was best if Okumura~Sensei didn't join us. After a quick argument, I convinced him to switch dorms with me, at least for tonight. So now I'm here, sitting on the bed across from Rin's bed, trying to figure out what to do. Had he gotten in a fight? According to Okumura~sensei, that was pretty usual for him, so I don't think he would've gotten that shaken up... unless... maybe he got... a little too violent....

    I shook my head, quickly clearing the thought from my head. Despite being half demon, Rin isn't the type of person to kill someone... right?

I sighed and, after grabbing an extra blanket from the closet, curled up on the floor next to Rin's bed. If only I knew how to help him...

RANDOM~POV~SWITCH~CAUSE~I~FEEL~LIKE~IT~SO~SCREW~LIFE

Rin's POV

  I blinked a few times, trying to clear the sleep from my eyes, before looking around. Where was I? I looked around at the room I was in and realized it was my dorm. Great, if I'm here that must mean Yukio's here too. I groaned and covered my face with my hands. I knew I probably looked like a wreck and I really didn't want to see him, nor anybody else for that matter. I rolled over and was about to step out of bed when I heard a snore from next to my bed. Raising an eyebrow, I glanced down to find a sleeping Bon on the ground. Of fucking course, he'd be there. Cause he just has to continue his whole fake pity thing. Why can't he just go back to ignoring me? That'd be less uncomfortable than having him pretending to care about my issues all the time.

   Sighing, I quietly stepped over him and tip toed out the door. I glanced down the hallway to make sure Yukio wasn't around before sprinting downstairs and into room 13 and quietly shut the door behind me. I sighed happily as I stood in the only room I felt at ease in. It was an abandoned music room which I had turned into my own studio. On one wall there were two window with translucent blinds that I always kept shut. Around the windows were canvases with art I had created. Lining another wall was a long mirror and a ballet bar, the third wall had musical instruments of all kinds hanging on it and in instrument cases leaning against it. The final wall was a plain, blank, white wall with a piano sitting in front of it. This was the only room I felt truely comfortable in, the only place I could be myself. I didn't have to worry about anyone hearing me while I was in there, because the walls were sound proof.

  One might wonder why I'd keep a room like this a secret. Well, to be honest, it's because I'm selfish. I've always hidden everything I'm good at because... well I'm not really sure why... it just felt kinda, unimportant. But when I discovered this room, it was like I finally had a place to do things I loved. I did some research and after going through some really old books in the library, I found a history book about the school. It mentioned that this dorm building had once held a lot of artistically gifted students, so to help them continue improving, the school made an art room. Sadly, as time progressed, less artistic students got scholarships, and only academic scholarships were given out and eventually the room was forgotten about. So when I realised that I was likely the only other person besides Principle Pheles, that knew about the existence of this place, I chose to be selfish and keep it hidden, so it could be my place of refuge. Selfish, I know, but it was nice to have my own place to go at times like this.

   I slowly walked to the wall of instruments and gently picked up and acoustic guitar before settling in to the corner. I strummed a couple strings, experimentally to see if it needed tuning and quickly tuned the strings that sounded wrong. Leaning back against the wall I started to play the beginning of a song I used to sing a lot.

  I got a long way to go,
And a long long memory,
I've been searching for an answer,
Always just out of reach.

I smiled, thinking about a couple years ago when I was so obsessed with Linkin Park. Something about the lyrics in their songs always just connected with me.

  When they turn down the lights
I hear my battle symphony
All the world in front of me
If my armour breaks
I'll fuse it back together

  My voice cracked on the word, me, making me wince. 'Yup,' I thought. 'This I why vocal warmups are important.'

  Battle symphony
Please just don't give up on me
And my eyes are wide awake.
For my battle symphony

  I faded out, not really having the energy to sing the whole song. My hand and guitar laid in my lap as I stared quietly at the wall, the lyrics I had just sung repeating in my head.

Please just don't give up on me

I huffed out a small, humourless laugh. If only I could've said that to everyone I cared about. If only it would've made a difference...

   I knew I was being stupid. Izumo didn't hate me... I think. And Bon seemed like he might actually care, but it didn't feel real. It felt like after so long dealing with everything alone, I didn't deserve to be cared about. It's impossible to explain how it feels like your drowning from all the thoughts and stress and everything, and how you want so much for someone to find out, for someone to come help heal you, and yet, be terrified of it at the same time. To hope someone notices, but as soon as anyone gets the slightest bit suspicious, feel like your whole world is ending. It's impossible to explain why you want help so much, but will push away anyone who offers it. There's no way for someone who's whole, to understand the mind of someone broken. No matter how much you wish there was... there just isn't.
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Honestly you all probably hate me for having disappeared for so long. I'm so sorry. I wish I could explain to you, why I was gone but for now we'll leave it at, I was going through some difficulties.

Don't worry, updates should be coming at a more frequent pace now since I've made an update schedule (check my bio if you want to see the schedule).

I know some people don't like songfics, but I love the idea of an artistic Rin, plus I like including song lyrics in stories so, please try not to leave hate all over chapters that have lyrics.

Also, if anyone wants to follow me on Instagram, it's, Lunarshadoww. Now if I take too long to update, you all can spam me on my PMs😂