Foolish Sparks

Chapter 6: Miserable

Aeryn POV

I don't know how long we've been waiting for... maybe an hour and a little bit more? Kanina pa kami dito ni Marjorie, Tita Beth and the big bosses of our network. Isa na lang ang nawawala... siya.

I honestly can't even feel the time. I'm too numb to realize the time because of the pain I'm feeling. Di ko maproseso na may mahal siyang iba. Rather, hindi ko tanggap. I have never imagined that it was that way for the past years I've worked with him. Dahil sobrang sanay ko sa halos araw-araw naming pagsasama sa set, hindi ko akalaing mayroon siyang oras na magka-girlfriend ng iba.

Sobrang panatag ko pa dahil alam ko na kahit sinong tanungin ay under the assumption that we're together or we look really good together. The public and how everyone around us pushes us to be together have gave me the comfort, the peace of him not being in love with anyone else.

To think that I've assumed a few times that he might just be waiting for the time to confess his feelings for me! To think where I've fantasized a few times on how he also loves me back! How incredibly stupid. Ang tanga mo, Aeryn!

I wonder if I took the initiative and actually became bolder in showing him about my feelings for him? Paano kung hindi ako sobrang naging panatag na baka maging kami at we're just buying our time? I wonder if...

Stop, you stupid woman! You don't stoop that low. Kahit iniisip ko lang na i-seduce siya even when he is actually with in love with someone else, it's disgusting! Sa lagay na 'to, tinatawag pa ako na "Queen" at hinahangaan ng marami.... to think that way, to even have that idea is absolutely a no-no. Hindi ko papatawarin ang sarili ko kung magagawa ko man iyon. Hindi ko hahayaan ang sarili kong ma-involve sa kanya kung committed siya kahit gaano ko pa siya kamahal.

I would disgrace the name of my parents... My mother, who is the prominent icon of beauty and grace in this country. My father, who is one of the most respected man in our industry. They did not raise me like that.

Speaking of the devil, the double glass doors opened showing the man I loved with a stern face. His jaw clenched as he sat next to his manager without looking at anyone - especially at our big bosses and manager whose eyes are ready to devour him.

Sabagay, we have been waiting for him for too long. To be fair, our bosses arrive very late as well but since they have the upper hand, we don't mind. Eto din ang first time na pumunta siya ng late sa isang meeting. If it is the usual Eros, he'd be the first one here.

Clearly, ibang Eros ang nasa harap namin ngayon.

"Buti nalang naisipan mo pang dumating!" sigaw ng isa sa executive director ng network namin, si Mr. Clemente, as he slammed the table.

"Sorry po, sir." maliit na sabi ni Eros.

Nagsabi ng kung ano ang big boss namin habang nanatiling tahimik ang lahat. No one dared say a word. Disappointment from everyone filled the room. For a few seconds, no one talked and let that silence surround us.

Sa mga iilang segundo na 'yun, I bottled up all my courage to look at Eros.

Looking at him pains me. Hindi ko alam kung sariling sakit ko ang nararamdaman ko o sakit na nararamdaman ko para sakanya. Sa sitwasyon ngayon, alam ko na pinamabigat ang lahat ng ito para sakanya. Damn you, woman! Nagagawa ko parin siyang isipin sa panahon na ganito.

"Just to cut it short, since kanina pa kami dito... magda-damage control kami, Eros." panimula ni Tita Beth.

"I don't give a damn if you agree with this or not." singit ni Mr. Clemente.

Kinalma ni Tita Beth ang kanyang sarili at nagpatuloy na magsalita. I know it's tough on her as well. She's handling both of us and to have her biggest handles in such a messy issue is a difficult job. Sa gulong sinimulan ni Eros, isa si Tita Beth sa mga pinakanaapektuhan.