CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

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BEFORE
Weston Waters
May 10, 2016

I drive down Eastern Avenue until I reach the plaza containing Coffee Culture. Cordelia and I came here a couple of times when we first moved to town. I remember how much she loved their mocha lattes.

Rosella emailed last night asking to meet at Finnick's, but I suggested we meet here instead. This isn't the kind of chat you have in a bar.

I pull into the parking lot and spot Rosella's car right away, parked a few spots down from mine. As I walk towards the entrance, I try to peer through the window to see where she's sitting.

When I walk inside, it takes only seconds before I spot her long legs and jet-black hair seated in the far corner. She looks anxious, sitting up straight, legs crossed, staring out the window opposite to where I parked. I approach slowly, unsure if I'm ready to hear the news she is about to present.

"Hey," I say softly. Her head turns and she stares up at me, her blue eyes looking more worried than ever. This can't be good.
"Wes," she forces a small smile. "Please, sit."
I pull out the chair and sit so I'm facing her. I take in a deep breath. "Okay. I'm ready to hear it."
She flattens her mouth. "Are you, Wes? Really..."
I nod.
She straightens up even further, taking in a deep breath.
Here we go.
"The doctor confirmed it. I'm pregnant."
Even though I knew those words would leave her mouth, I can't help but feel as though I've been shot; a gaping hole directly through my stomach, blood and organs spilling out. I feel sick. Nauseous. I close my eyes and bring my hand to my forehead.
She reaches out, her soft hand grabbing mine. I open my eyes and stare at her. Tears are forming in her eyes.
"What do we do?" she cries softly.
Fuck. I can't do this. I can't.
"Rose," I start. "I know this is so hard for you. God, I can't even imagine," I take another breath, as though I can't quite get enough air. "We'll have to abort it. I'll take you to the clinic this afternoon if you want."
Her eyes widen and she recoils her hand away from me. "What did you just say?"
I know she heard me. I don't have to repeat myself. "Rose, this is the best possible option. We can't do this. We can't raise a baby together,"
"Fuck you!" She spits. "Are you fucking kidding me right now?"
I'm taken back. I thought she would have mutual feelings. "You were actually planning on keeping it?"
"Are you crazy, Wes!? Are you honestly that inconsiderate? This is my child! Our child!" she says the word child slow and steady, as if I don't know what a child is.
"I'm aware, Rose. But it's not even a fetus yet. It's an embryo. It's not our anything."
I watch as her face turns from sadness to rage. "Is that what Emerald was to you? Just a fucking embryo? Well guess what, Weston. She turned into a baby. Your baby. And this one will too."
"What are you saying?" I snap, leaning in closer as I notice heads begin to turn our way. "You're going to keep it?"
"What else did you think I was going to do? I can't believe you honestly think I would abort this baby."
"We can't do this, Rose. It's wrong. You know it's wrong. Bringing a baby into this world, unwanted. Conceived from adultery and dishonesty. We can't do that."
"You mean you can't do that. This was a choice, Weston. You chose to have an affair. You knew this could happen. This is what we did, together. We created this life. And I'm sure as hell not going to end it."
"I never planned for this!" I motion between us. "It was supposed to be temporary. An escape from home. You knew that. You knew we were never serious. We weren't going to ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after. I have a wife and daughter." I pause, closing my eyes and shaking my head. "I can't do this."
When I open my eyes, she's staring at me, disgust evident in her face. "You've already made your decision then, clearly." She takes in a quick breath and wipes the drip of mascara that's running down her face. "Fine. You can do whatever you want, Weston. Go live your fucking life with your psychotic wife and unwanted baby that she doesn't even want!" she raises her voice. "You go do that, okay! And tell me how that goes in ten years when Emerald is all by herself because you've left again and moved on!"
She stops to collect herself. "You've made your decision. You can live with that for the rest of your life. But just remember, I will too. And so will this baby."


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