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It's that time of the year. You're gathered around your dinner table eating foods you know will be your breakfast the next morning. They talk about everything. About how your grandpa's got another girlfriend he's wasting his money for, about how your sister's probably gonna get married soon (she's younger than you), and about how you're supposed to find someone you need to get married to before you turned 25.
(They also talked about why your ex boyfriend is not showing up now when he usually does; you know he's angry at you because you kept leading him on only to admit that you're gay.)
And you tell them the same thing you've been telling your mom--that you'd probably end up an old cat lady because you feel you're never gonna marry. Ever.
Your aunt jokes that maybe you're a lesbian, that's why you ain't gonna marry.
(You scuffed trying to avoid their gazes, asking for a glass of water because suddenly you're thirsty. You regret the action because you looked so guilty.)
-And you are, guilty. You never told your mom that you're binge watching that American series because it's kinda gay. You only told her you like it because of the plot. You never told her that it's the reason why your ex boyfriend (that your mom loves so much) hates you because you broke up with him due to your identity confusion. (Your mom insists that it's because you got another boyfriend (which you never had) and moved on from him.)
And you realized you're never gonna be able to tell them you're gay. Ever.
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Randomyou were six and you're never good enough. you do this wrong, you did that right -but not quite. you were six. and you're never good enough. you're thirteen and ain't smart enough. you can't pronounce faux pas properly. you cannot derive formulas...
