The Lovely Suicide Children

Chapter 46: Protecting Amber

When I thought school couldn't get any worse, it did. Someone set up some kind of memorial for Megan and her friends in front of Robert's tree. This made me incredibly angry. I wanted to say something, but no one let me near the tree. It was disrespectful. This whole thing. Even though Robert never had a proper burial, he still loved that tree. Now it was gone, replaced with gifts and praises for Megan's spirit.

From a distance, I watched people gush over the girl who made fun of them. Students Megan bullied paid their respects as well. Of course, it was normal to feel sorry for someone after their death, but it made me wonder about Robert. Who cried over him? Where were his gifts? After all, he was one of the good ones.

"Olivia?"

I turned around and found Rose walking towards me. I got up off the ground. This had been the first time I saw her since Sunny told me what she did. I didn't think that I would see Rose too much. 

"Are you alright?" She asked when I didn't reply to her.

I blinked a few times then nodded my head. For some reason, it was hard to make eye contact with her. I wasn't sure why, but when I looked at her, I felt guilty. "You shouldn't be talking to me," I told her. "All I do is bring bad luck to people."

Rose sighed. "I tried to stay away, but I don't think I can. I care too much, and if anything happened to you, I'd be really upset."

The bell rung to my relief. I was about to walk away but Rose grabbed me by the arm. Even then I didn't look at her. "I know this is a rough time for you," she said. "But I'm going to be here. Okay?"

"Alright," I said then quickly got away from her.

...

At home, cutting came more natural. I felt the pain, but not as much. It's gotten worse. Worse because I started doing it when I wasn't sad. I did it, watched myself bleed, and wished to death that I could just find the courage to do it. End it. Put me out of my misery. It wasn't easy. 

When I was done, I went into Amber's room without knocking. She sat in the middle of her floor playing with her dolls. I got mad at the sight of Robert's bones spread out around her.

"What do you want?" She glared at me.

I walked further inside then closed the door. With a smile on my face, I looked at her. "I think Sunny's finally going to get what she's been planning."

"What are you talking?" She raised an eyebrow at me. 

I sat down beside her, outside of the circle. Amber stared at me like I was insane, seeming a bit scared as well. "Sunny doesn't want me here anymore, and I don't want to be here. She ruined everything for me, took everything from me. Dad doesn't even want me here."

"What are you saying?" Amber asked. She tensed up a bit.

"I want to join The Lovely Suicide Children," I said. The truth is, I wasn't in Amber's room to tell her what I wanted. I felt bad that I had to do that and say that to her, but I wanted Sunny to hear me.

Amber made a noise as if to talk, but something caught her tongue. I got up and quickly left the room. When I closed the door, someone pulled me from behind into my own room. When they let me go, the door slammed on its own. I stood up, turned around, and found Sunny sitting on my bed.

"You're not so smart," Sunny then laid against my pillow.

Unafraid, I got on the bed and laid next to her. I didn't want to scare her away, I wanted to know what she knew. So, there we were. Sunny and I looking at the ceiling. Her damp and unkempt hair sprawled beneath her head. I could feel the coldness of her body wind around me. I leaned to my side, and she did the same. We were face to face.

"Do you believe that a person like Megan could go to heaven?"  Sunny whispered.

I didn't know why she was whispering. My anger began to rage as I thought nothing but how this was all her fault. Taking a deep breath, I just kept my eye contact with Sunny. "I'm not sure," I said. "Maybe. Do you believe in heaven?"

Sunny shrugged. "Maybe. People like me don't get a chance to think that far."

"Why can't you?" I said.

"Unlike Megan," she went on. "I've killed people."

"But you get to live on Earth," I said.

Sunny stayed quite. 

"Why do you do the things you do?" I asked her.

As soon as I said that, Sunny faded away in front of me. All of a sudden, I jolted up, but not out of my own will. A sharp pain stretched through my left arm. I tried to reach for it, but there was too much pain. It felt like someone was stabbing me with a hot blade or something. 

Finally, the burning sensation stopped, but I still felt the pain. I lifted up my sleeve, but Sunny appeared again. This time, she covered my arm. "Ah!" I yelled out while her hand was over me.

"Answers," She said then disappeared again.

I looked at my arm and read out the words. I didn't understand why Sunny couldn't say anything to me. Instead, she had to mutilate me. The words scarred onto my arm read: To Protect Amber.

The sleeve then shot up on its own and covered the scar as if Sunny wanted to hide it. At that moment,  I felt scared. Not for myself, but for Sunny...and Amber. What would happen to Amber if Sunny didn't do what she was told? Most importantly, who was telling Sunny to do all of this? And why did Amber play a huge role?

Now wanting answers, I got up and headed towards the door. Something stopped me, the sounds of dark voices outside my door.

"Haven't we told you," someone said. "In the end, we always win."

I heard someone choking. "Please, don't hurt Amber," Sunny struggled to say.

I opened the door but no one was out there. I quickly went into Amber's room, finding her in her bed clutching her doll.

"Where's Sunny?" I asked her.

Amber just held her doll, squeezing it while looking around as if I wasn't in the room. I had never seen her so frightened. For her own safety, I closed the door and got in between the circle with her. "They got Sunny. Now, I need you to tell me what Sunny was hiding from me."