Chapter 58

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NABEEL'S POV

My hands shook as I signed the piece of paper that officially tied Maariah and I into an unbreakable knot of marriage. With a swift curl of the pen, the deed was done, and a mixture of joy and anxiety erupted in my stomach. It wasn't a typical Nikkah, because no announcement had been made and on a week day such as this, the masjid was quite close to empty. Most Musallis hadn't even stayed for the Nikkah, and I could feel the sense of shame burning through my chest as I walked out of the masjid.

We returned back home to Maariah's house, and only when I saw her did the reality of what had happened hit me. Her eyes sparkled with the same emotions I felt within me, and in that moment it occurred to me that I could hold this woman and love her for the rest of my life. In six months time, we would hold a bundle of joy in our arms and know that this was a part of my heart and her soul.

We were given our moments in seclusion, and I held her tightly to my chest. I wanted to mend those pieces of broken that she had become. I wanted to squeeze her so tightly that all her broken parts would be glued back together. I understood then that this was my Taqdeer, and the woman before me, with her delicate curls and beautiful eyes was my future.

MAARIAH'S POV

When he returned from the masjid in the same state that he had left, all the guilt that had consumed me moments prior to this began to melt away. Before me now was the man of my dreams. I had the most prized possession that any woman could ask for - a man who loved and cherished her. I had true love. Love was something we had found, and it wasn't my fault that I had fallen for its beauty. Now, in me, I had living proof of my love. Before me, I had living proof of loving. The future no longer seemed so bleak. As we stared into each other's eyes, and let our fingers travel across the line of our jaws, I knew that it was going to be okay. I would still be the target of gossip, and nothing could take away the sin, but in that moment, we were not just infinite, but infinitely beautiful. We were a mismatched pair of souls trying to navigate our way through life. He slipped his fingers into mine, and I knew then that whatever hell I faced in life, he would be there to walk through it with me.

HUSNA'S POV

Regardless of how kind I acted towards Maariah when she returned home, anger still bled through my veins and onto the bedsheets. The razor sliced through my wrists and cried the tears of blood that my eyes couldn't. My future husband had left me for a girl that had seduced him. That would have been slightly more bearable if he hadn't accused me of playing victim or not being empathetic. Just as I was about to slit once more, the tiny voice that I had abandoned months ago spoke up in my head. "What would Zaid say?" it squeaked.

Immediately, I set the razor down. Zaid would not like the idea of me harming myself. Zaid wouldn't want someone who couldn't control their emotions. Zaid wouldn't want a wife who didn't respect Allah's bounties. I couldn't slit my wrist.

Then, realisation struck me once again. I didn't have Zaid. Zaid was going to be married in less than 5 months. Another woman would take the place that I always desired to have. Yet, for me, someone had taken the place of Zaid for a short while. I couldn't blame Zaid for what was happening. I needed to let go. The ache of the situation at hand left me too weak to pick up the razor again, so instead I cried into my pillow as if I were mourning. In a way it was true because now, Nabeel was dead to me.

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