DYING OF THE LIGHT ➣ BEN SOLO

SEVENTEEN

[ BEN SOLO IS DEAD ]

"HAN SOLO. I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS DAY FOR A LONG TIME."

halo could hardly breathe. her knuckles were ashen against the cool railing of the balcony she stood on. she could hear nothing over the sound of her beating heart, thudding relentlessly in her ears.

han walked slowly to the center of the bridge. halo could not see his face, but she could feel everything he did. heartbreak, betrayal, and above all, guilt.

"take off the mask. you don't need it."

"what do you think you'll see if i do?"

the sound of his voice through the rebreather was cold. hollow. but she could tell that kylo ren meant nothing that he said. his heart was somewhere far away. there was so much conflict in him at this moment, that she could barely decipher what it was he was feeling.

"the face of my son."

halo watched with bated breath as he slowly raised his hands to the steep curve of his jaw. the sound of the rebreather fading echoed through the hall. slowly, deliberately, kylo ren took the mask off. and halo was met with the face of ben solo. the one like she had seen in her dream. a man who was suffering. a man being torn apart.

"your son, is gone," kylo ren forced through his teeth. nothing at all crossed over his face. it was like he was not even alive. halo had never seen eyes so deep and empty.

"he was weak and foolish like his father. so i destroyed him."

halo's lips pressed into a firm line.

han began walking toward kylo ren once more, and halo's grip on the railing tightened. she wanted so badly to jump, to protect han if anything went wrong, but she was afraid of what would happen if she did. rey and finn didn't know. they didn't know about her and ben solo. what would happen if they did?

"that's what snoke wants you to believe," han muttered slowly, "but it's not true. my son is alive."

"no." kylo ren's voice was soft. soft and unforgiving.
"the supreme leader is wise."

"snoke is using you for your power. when he gets what he wants he'll crush you. you know it's true."

han was so close to kylo ren now. standing barely two feet away. it made halo anxious. she wanted so desperately to jump. she knew she should. but she couldn't do it. why couldn't she do it?

her azure eyes watched closely. she noticed that something different had come over the face of kylo ren now. it was as if a second mask had been removed. the lifeless expression he had once sported had melted away, and now, he stared into the eyes of his father as a lonely child would. his eyes were glassy, filled with something halo could not understand.

her brows pulled together. she could feel it, everything he was going through. the pull to the light inside of him was so strong in that moment that halo felt a rush of power surge through her veins. like the force was delighted in gaining back one of its children. suddenly, the fear began to fall away inside of her. now, there was something new. hope.

"it's too late for me."

halo felt as though her breath had been knocked out of her. he said to han what he had said to halo in her sleep. in the exact way, with the same glistening tears in his dark eyes.

"no, it's not. leave here with me, come home. we miss you. halo misses you."

halo sucked in a sharp breath. she could feel the eyes of finn and rey on her now, burning holes in her back. she could not bring herself to turn away. her watery eyes met his, not kylo ren's, but ben solo's.

in that one look, he said many things to her. everything she knew he couldn't say on takodana or in the interrogation room. for a moment, it was only them. as it had been in her dream. as it used to be, all those years ago.

and in a moment, it was broken.

he looked back at his father. his bottom lip quivered, and his fists tensed by his side. halo could feel the pull inside of him, so strong that it made her weak. he was resisting less and less. he was so close. so close.

"i am being torn apart."

his voice broke, the same as it had in her dream. she felt a sob escape her chest, he was coming back.

"i want to be free of this pain. i know what i have to do, but i don't know if i have the strength to do it."

she felt that he spoke every word honestly. and for a moment, she felt so elated that it was almost like a high. she was so sure that he was gone, but now she was not. maybe there was still a chance for him. maybe he could turn this around while he still could, leave it all behind, come back to her.

"will you help me?"

"yes, anything."

halo felt the conflict inside of him arise to new heights. she clutched her chest, feeling as if no breaths could escape or enter her lungs. she felt finn's hand on her shoulder, and rey's around her arm as she fell to her knees. it was too much. he was feeling too much, so much that he would not be able to bear it much longer. she felt as though he was sitting right in the middle of a scale that was tipping both ways. she didn't want to see him fall. and she didn't want to see who he'd take with him if he did.

his hand reached out to his father. in his palms, rested his saber. the same one he had made when halo had been there. the same one he had twisted and warped when he fell to the dark side. she watched his eyes closely. he was almost pleading with han in his gaze to take the saber away.

but he waited too long. too much time was passing. the scale was tipping, and ben solo was falling.

for a moment, he looked at halo once more.

and then, he plunged the saber into han solo's chest.