The Past Between Us

~9~

Edited

Regret comes in all shapes and sizes. Some are small , like when we do a bad thing, for a good reason. Some are bigger, like when we let down a friend. Some of us escape the pains of regret by making the right choice. Some of us have little time for regret, because we're looking forward to the future. Sometimes we have to fight to come to terms with the past. And sometimes we bury our regret, by promising to change our ways. But our biggest regrets are not for the things we did... but the things we didn't do.  -Lucas Scott, One Tree Hill

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I sighed as I tried to concentrate on my work.

My mind seemed to be far away. I couldn't concentrate.

My phone beeped announcing that I'd received a text message. Jace's name flashed across the screen.

I read his text;

"I've emailed you my old notes. They'll help you study. J"

I needed all the help I could get.

He probably sent it to my old email account.

I logged into my email. I was immediately flooded with thousands of messages. I realized that this was the first time I was using it after three years.I absentmindedly scrolled through the messages. Most of them were advertisements and spam. 

A familiar name suddenly popped up and I felt like my heart had stopped beating.

Megan.

She had emailed me.

And not just once.

There were at least 10 of them.

My hands were trembling as I clicked on one of them. It was the oldest one. Sent three years ago.

"Hey Scar.

It's been a week since you left.

I heard about what happened and I'm really sorry. I understand that you need some time alone but I miss you so much. We all do.

Hunter is a mess right now. Your departure has really wrecked him. I know something happened between the two of you but he won't talk to me about it.

Hunter got into a huge fight with Jace after you left. It's the first time I've ever seen them fight like this Scar, it was scary. I don't know why, but I have a feeling it has something to do with you.

I'm so sorry that you're hurting Scar. I wish I could take some of your pain away.

I've always admired your strength. You'll get through this.

I'm here for you.

Always.

Love you.

Your sister, Megan."

A sob left my lips as I finished reading.

Oh Megan.

I'm so sorry.

I got up and grabbed my car keys from the table.

Before I realized I was already speeding towards the cemetery.

It was the only place I could be close to Megan again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As I reached Megan's grave a familiar figure caught my eye.

Danielle.

She was sitting on the ground in front of the headstone. Her shoulders were hunched.

"Danielle?" I called out softly.

Her head snapped in my direction. The sight of her tear stained face broke my heart.

She looked at me blankly, not even acknowledging my presence.

I could feel my own eyes filling with tears.

"I'm so sorry Danielle. I'm sorry for not being there for you and Megan when you needed me. I'm not going to justify my actions because I can't. I was selfish, I believed I was the only one who was hurting. You were always there for me when I needed you and I understand why you hate me. I'd hate me too if I were you. I'm leaving right now. I'll come back later."

I started to leave.

"Stay."

Danielle's voice stopped me.

I turned to look at her again.

"Please stay." She whispered. "I don't want to be alone today."

I slowly sank down to sit beside her.

"Today's Megan's one year death anniversary." She murmured.

"I miss her so much." I whispered brokenly.

"I'm sorry about your mom." Danielle said as she bought her arms around me comfortingly.

"I missed you Danielle."

"I missed you too Scar. I'm sorry I was so hard on you earlier. I understand why you chose to leave, of course I do. I love you."

It was like a huge weight had been lifted from my chest.

I knew we were okay. We were friends again.

We didn't talk after that.

We just sat there together with our arms around each other as silent tears ran down our cheeks.

Megan was gone.

But somehow she'd bought me and Danielle together again.

It felt good to have one of my best friends back.

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