Finding Sam (Featured)

Chapter 20 - Following His Lead

The attorney followed through with my request that Wednesday. By Thursday, he drafted the legal documents that required David's signed agreement to the terms that he was not to pick up, or drop off Michael at my house, nor show up unannounced. Instead, we would do the exchange at his mother's house in Hawthorne, which was the next city over.

I would have preferred a more neutral place like a park, or at the mall. But Lorena didn't drive and lately she had to use a walker because of her arthritis. She was also nice to me, even though she was often distant, especially if David was around. She usually surprised me with Christmas presents each year, too. The last one was an angel candle holder from Avon, complete with the current catalog.

During the meeting that involved David, myself and our attorneys, he worked his role quite well that day, appearing as the poor ex-husband unfairly denied adequate access to his son. It took all of my self-control to bite my tongue, to pretend that he hadn't been inside my house just a few days earlier, threatening to take Michael away from me. It was a game he played, almost to perfection.

It exhausted me to even think about how much I'd paid to hire a good divorce attorney to make sure that I got custody of Michael while having to adjust visitation arrangements based on David's travel schedule, which changed each week. These days, I could barely pay for an attorney but I had to, even if it meant that I'd have to sell a few things here and there, or withdraw money from the investment accounts that Eunice had left me.

But if there was anything that the recent events had taught me, beginning with my jogging, and then meeting Erik and Olivia, it was that I was stronger than I thought myself to be. I had to give myself more credit for how far I'd come with my life, even though without my own studio, it felt as if I was starting over.

Each step was a baby step, of course, whether it was looking David in the eye when I spoke to him, or not apologizing too much to the daycare director for having to cut down Michael's schedule again, because I simply didn't have the money to pay for it. If I had to work on my social networking accounts, I did so when Michael was occupied with his toys or he was asleep. The same went for my art, though this time, I sketched using the pastel crayons because they were more accessible than the acrylic paints.

Yet old habits die hard. Fear made me use a nail brush to clean traces of color from my fingers. Just as I still locked the doors almost obsessively, so afraid that David would show up on Wednesday afternoon to take out my trash that I dragged out the bins to the curb by noon on Tuesday.

I knew he'd been angry over the new visitation arrangement though I didn't know what he would do, or if he would actually do anything. David's threats in the past, some he'd followed through on, had made me paranoid.

Afraid that David might be following me, I even changed my jogging route, going south now towards Redondo Beach instead of north to Manhattan Beach where I was bound to run past Erik's house. I began running along the nature path as well, pushing Michael in the jogging stroller even on warm days. But running cleared my mind of my worries, and so three times a week, no matter the weather, I counted on each session to ease my mind. Fortunately, living in Southern California meant that there was only was climate really - sunny.

Erik didn't call me that week at all, nor send me any more flowers. I left a message on his voicemail thanking him for the roses, though I said nothing about his note.

Olivia did call, making sure I was still coming on Friday for Bella's party. She even dropped by with Bella on an impromptu play date that Wednesday, and we both let the children play in my backyard while she made nectarine green tea, straight from nectarines gathered from the tree.

"You haven't been by at Erik's house and honestly, he's been quite down. And when he gets down, he gets cranky," Olivia said as I took a sip from the tea, the ice cubes tinkling against the glass. "Is everything alright between you two?"