Tainted Faith

Thirty One: Trentuno [re-written 14/06/21]

[RE-WRITTEN]

Liliana was greeted early the next morning, by the gruff sound of Giovanni's voice as he asked, "Where's Marcello?" He awaited her by the front door, fully dressed in his usual fashionable, well presented style, with his car keys in hand. 

"In the bedroom on his laptop. I was surprised he was still in bed this morning when I awoke. I thought he'd be off doing his usual duties," she mumbled, fighting off a yawn, her fingers threading through her barely tamed curls. It was too early in the morning for her to be functioning right now; she couldn't understand why Giovanni had wanted to leave as early as 6:00 am. 

Giovanni, who had turned to open the front door, paused and glanced over his shoulder at her with furrowed brows. "And he didn't object to this trip of yours?" 

Liliana pursed her lips and refrained from responding as she walked past him and stepped outside, immediately heading towards his car that was already pulled up to the front of the house. 

"He doesn't know does he?" Giovanni's disapproving voice followed her retreating figure, not allowing her to escape his questioning.

"I told him I was going out with you. He didn't ask where." 

"Is there a reason you didn't specify where you were going in the first place?" 

"Giovanni," Liliana sighed, turning to face him with her hands on her hips. "You said it yourself, Marcello would only object. Things are getting better between us, I'll admit, but it isn't Marcello's place to dictate where I can and can't go." 

"You don't think that's hypocritical? You complain of the secrets we keep without caring for the reason behind our actions and yet you're hiding things from Mercello?"

"My secret is that I'm speaking to your mother today, of which I have every intention of telling him after we return. Your secrets are that my mother killed herself in this house, that I've been actively threatened for the past month, and that my father essentially sold me to Marcello to clear his debts with Sebastiano, most of which I've had to find out through anonymous letters. It's a little different." 

She could understand that from Giovanni's perspective, how she was acting was hypocritical. But as a man in the mafia, it wasn't all that surprising to Liliana, that he hadn't thought to consider her point of view. She was not obligated to inform Marcello of her every move, she was not obligated to be fully transparent with Marcello on every single aspect of her life, especially not when she was fighting so hard to gain any control over her own life. 

Marcello was trying, he was granting her more freedom, and now that she understood the motivations behind his controlling actions, she certainly viewed him in a more favourable light. But it didn't change the facts of her situation. She was a woman forced into a marriage, and so far her only success in gaining any equal footing was to take it regardless of the restrictions she had faced. So why would she cease from doing so now? 

"Just because Marcello has spoken to me more, and has been more honest with me, doesn't mean he too isn't being selective with the truth that he shares. Given his work, I understand that complete honesty may be impossible, but that means it is unfair to expect such honesty from me in return." Liliana turned away from him, stepping towards the other side of the car. 

Giovanni reached for her forearm, thick fingers keeping her captive with gentle force. His grasp did not hurt but she knew of the capability behind his actions. Again she was reminded how powerless she could be in their presence, how unequal they were. "If you don't speak to him how can you both learn to trust in one another and better your relationship?"