Guns and Giggles

11. Exs and Uh-Ohs

Song: Bodak Yellow - CardiB

Ssup guys! It has been long and I see I haven't been as personal I can be, being the author of this book it's my duty to keep my readers curious! So you can ask me anything about me and be as WEIRD as you want to be! (Except about my book of course I don't want to spoil the chapters!)

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"Why are you looking at me like that?" Alana asked.

She had been acting weird lately and her brother was concerned. This morning when we were talking he let out his concern for his sister since her return, he assured me it wasn't just puberty messing with her mind.

"Is everything okay?" She asked nervously tucking her hair behind her ear.

"I should be asking you that." I said with suspicious eyes.

Her eyes clouded over as if going over the things that made her this way. This made me soften my stance and offer a more welcoming conversation.

"Hey, you know you can talk to me right? I understand it must have been difficult to talk about yourself or feminine issues in a male dominant house but I'm pretty good at keeping secrets." I said, placing a hand on her shoulder.

Looks like I hit the nail on the wall.

That's when Alex entered, "Hey Babe see you later just don't do anything too crazy I'll be back" he kissed my hair, "Alana, I'll be back soon I promise we'll go to the ice-cream shop you visit everytime we are here" he smiled warmly.

Alana suddenly took off and ran to her room hiding her unshed tears. I turned around and smacked Alex's head "Hey! What did I do?!" he asked. "What did I say about Public Display of Affection?!" I scolded him "Just go" I sighed, going after Alana.

~•~

I knocked on Alana's room hearing a soft 'Go away' but still entered, seeing her sprawled on her bed with teary eyes and a runny nose.

Oh God what do I say? Should I go for How are you? I'm fine, no you are not, or just a simple 'There, there' like Sheldon Cooper? Oh Yes! I got it!

"Gosh he's so annoying isn't he? I should've just cut his hair instead of tying pigtails" I jumped next to her in the bed.

"He would have definitely killed you!" She gasped.

"That would have been better than staying with that a**hole" I rolled around. The bed is too soft for me not to do that.

She giggled.

Oh Thank God!

"Sooooo...?" I paused.

"It's nothing I'm fine. Just that I never thought my brother would find someone who would make him that happy." She smiled sadly.

My eyes widened. "Oh no, we aren't- I mean- we uh- uh-" I stuttered. What is happening I always have something to say.

"Oh come on I can clearly see that he loves you! I mean you messed with his hair and what was your punishment? Kisses! You guys are so illogical but cute!" She squealed.

What was the training I was given? To get out of sticky questions? Oh yeah distract them.

"Look a plane!" I pointed out of the window. Wow genius.

She turned to look but then turned back, "there's nothing there"

"But there is something on your mind that made you cry. What is it?" I asked softly.

"Y-you have to promise me you won't tell my brother about this." She said.

"Of course!"

"So there's this guy"

"I knew it! Who do I have to kill?!" I stood on the bed and smoothly avoided hitting the fan.

She giggled. "Just like my brother, jumping to kill anyone who hurts me"

"Well... Continue miss, what did that b*stard do to get these rivers flowing? Start from the beginning."

"We met at the mall, some guys were teasing me and he rescued me like a prince. From then on he was the sweetest guy ever! Chivalry, Patience, Humour, he had it all...like a perfect guy from a movie! But I guess that's where all the perfect guys are...only the movies. He showed his true colours when I found him with another girl in his bed... doing ugh..he disgusts me!"

"Oh honey!" I hugged her.

"That's when I just packed my bags and left! I came here, knowing my brother will always be there for me."

"Let me see who this guy is." I asked sweetly. That Bïtch is going to DIE.

She took out her phone and showed a picture of them together, "This is Max, I won't let out any other details cause I know you'll probably hunt him down and tie him up." She smiled.

"Yeah and bring a blow torch" I said absent-mindedly. He looks familiar. Have I killed him before? If I didn't I should've. Have I tortured him? Eh. If I haven't I will.

"Wait you are not serious are you? I mean yeah he's bad but don't kill him!" She asked concerned.

"Huh? Oh yeah no no" Oops Thought Out too Loud.

Also this is the reason she's been sad? We can't have that now can we?

"Girl come here! We need you to take some lessons!" I drag her to the chair next to her desk and lock her in with my legs, pulling it next to me on the bed.

"Woahh!" She widened her eyes.

"First of all, don't take shit from someone with bad eyebrows alright?" I said cringing at the photo.

"I mean they aren't that bad..." She mumbled.

"No no girl! They are bad! Everything about him is bad! Like his eyes? They are filled with disgusting lust for innocent women! And his hands ughh they have been to disgusting places! And his p- wait was his díck good?" I asked.

"Uh- not that g-" I cut her off " It was disgusting! It was small, irregular sized, he couldn't even hold it in!" I continued.

"I mean he's wasn't that ba-" "GIRL do you NOT see what we are doing HERE?!" I yelled. She flinched back.

I calmed down before speaking, "We need to get him out of here" I knocked her head.

"Okay Okay" she raised her hands in surrender.

"Now, repeat after me, I don't give a f*uck about him, he can go f*ck himself." I said slowly as if teaching a small child.

"I- I don't - but I do!!!" She turned her chair and put her head in her hands.

I patted her on the back ,"We'll work on that, but regardless you have to say this line everyday until you believe it. And I'll give you more lines everyday that you have to keep in a place where you look at them the most."

"O-Okay" she blinked uncertain.

"Ooo and I'll dress you up everyday and we go out on alternate days to find you a rebound!" I squealed excited.

"No! I don't need-" "And I'm taking your phone, I'll put up a good playlist for you, we gonna need Beyoncé, Reputation by TS, some Selena Gomez, CardiB is a must, Nicki Minaj, some Kendrick Lamar, some of that Thunder! Feel the thunder! Oh my God this is gonna be so good!" I walked out of her room.

Mission acquired.

"What did I get myself into..." I heard her mumble.

"MUAHAHAHAHAAHAA" I laughed outside her room. I heard a scream and a thud from inside.

Hehehe.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

What does Alana think about her brother with Ariana?

What will she do when she gets to know that her new best friend was kidnapped by her brother?!

Oh and who the hell is gonna get killed by Ariana's wrath?