i hate you » carl gallagher

thirty-one - marks

noel

flashback

I took my seat infront of the glass that parted Mickey Milkovich and me. He picked up the phone, and I did as well following his lead.

"How you doing," I asked him. He shrugged looking down at his hands.

"Could be doin' a lot better," he told me. "How 'bout you? You doin' okay?"

"A lot's been happening," I said. He look at me like he wanted to know more. "Carl got out of juvie early. A lot has happened between us since, but we're okay right now. And I... um... I'm going back to Florida... for only a couple months, I hope."

"What you mean? Why you goin' back," he asked sitting up a little more.

"My grammy, she's sick. Like, deadily. She doesn't have much longer to live and all that shit," I explained.

"I'm sorry. I'ma miss you. You're the only one that's come to visit me. Svet and Ian came once, but that's it," he said. There was an awkward silence for awhile until we made eye contact again. "How's Ian?" I know he's been wanting that question answered for sometime now.

"He's-He's good, Mick. He's a, uh, paramedic, now. A great one," I told him. I decided not to tell him about Caleb, Ian's boyfriend. "He's taking his meds. He hasn't had a breakdown or anything at all."

"Good. Can you tell him that I'm thinking about him? I miss him... I love him," he asked me.

"Of course, Mickey," I sent him a sincere smile. "I'm sure he misses you, too."

"Let's go, inmate," one of the guards yelled at Mickey. He rolled his eyes, sticking his middle finger up in the air.

"Hey, write to me when you're in Florida," he told me. "I'll see you later."

"I will, love you, Mick," I told him. He smiled, I could tell he hasn't been told that in awhile.

"Love you, too, El," he said just as the guard came around and dragged him away.

•••

I sat down in one of the pews, next to Ian. He was staring down at his hands.

"What a wedding, huh," I asked him. He snickered.

"Fuckin' Frank," he said.

"Yeah," I sighed. "I, uh, visited Mickey the other day."

"You did," he asked, no emotion in his voice.

"Yeah, he wanted me to tell you that he's thinking about you," I told Ian. "He misses you and... he loves you." Ian didn't say anything. "Look, I know that you're with Caleb now, and he's a good guy, really. But I think you should visit Mickey. No one ever goes to see him, and I know how lonely that must get."

"Maybe," he said. "I don't know if I can, though. You know, I told him I'd wait for him. I lied to him."

"Ian, it's okay. I think that's the least of his worries, right now. Just go visit him," he finally looked up at me, sending me a genuine smile.

"Hey," Caleb said. "Sorry if I'm interrupting anything."

"No, it's fine," I told him. "I should go find Carl, anyways." I got up from the pew and sent Caleb a smile before walking back to the back room where I knew Carl was at.

•••

My mom and dad drove Carl and I home and then they went out for a drink. Carl didn't want to go back to his house yet, so he stayed with me for awhile.