Sincere

Chapter 36

Sincere Harris

I placed some pearl earrings into my ear as I allowed a sigh to leave my lips. Nervous wasn't even the word as I thought about everything I would have to express within this court room today. Last night was the night I told Dre about Nahmir and in all honesty, he was livid. I never expected him to react the way he did, but at this point, he's going to have to accept it. No one seems to understand where my heart is completely and I'm still trying to understand it myself, but as a woman that has been through almost every struggle, I can't watch this little boy be put through hell. I just won't allow it. The words Dre said to me yesterday caught me off guard and they kept replaying in my head like a broken record.

"That's some bullshit. That's not my fuckin' son and that will never be my son."

I stared at myself in the mirror of the bathroom, gathering my thoughts as I allowed a heavy sigh to escape my lips. Today was the day I gave my testimony and lay my whole life out onto the table. Finishing everything pertaining to my looks, I headed back into my room to put on my Christian Louboutins, laced with the matching purse. Being sure that I had everything I would need, including my phone, I cut off the lights in my room and headed down the stairs of our home. Jayceon and Kaylani were in school, and of course, I had to be the last person to leave the house this morning. Nahmir was already at Mama Gina's House living the lifestyle. Baby fat on swole and face on beat, the perfect way to present myself.

The drive to the court house was short and of course, his trial was held at the Supreme Court. There's no doubt in my mind that all the odds are already against him, and after doing much calling around, I was able to get Adrianne, Harmony and Faith to all come down for this court case. It meant the most that Harmony and Faith would be able to come down here early, and hopefully, if Dre is released today, we can go ahead and finish the planning for the baby shower taking place next week. That will set the bar for my eighth month of pregnancy, leading up until the final due date.

Searching around for a parking space in the crowded downtown parking garages, I managed to find one relatively close to the court house and quickly occupied it, being sure to lock my doors using the beeper on the keychain. After situating my skirt on my ass for a moment, I made sure I had everything before taking the short walk across the street, silently praying.

"Lord, I know I may not come to you as often as I should, but all I'm asking is that you please just be with everyone in this court room today. I ask that you open their heart and mind to everything happening today and most importantly, I ask that you guide the man that I love. I pray that all hearts and minds are clear. In your son Jesus name we pray, amen."

I entered the court house with a very subtle look on my face, and a mindset of getting straight to the point. The double doors leading into the court room were opened for me by guards, and it seemed as if I'd arrived just on time. Reserved seating for Deandre's side of the family were the first two pews behind him, and all I could think about was how this court room resembled a church. It's amazing how in this exact set up, men and women fellowship for the man above, yet in this exact room, men and women are sometimes sentenced to losing their lives.

I took the seat that everyone left for me, right behind Dre and his eyes met mine as I settled into the seat. No words were exchanged, not even a few smiles. Meaningless glances covered our demeanors as we sat one behind the other, trying to ignore. It's amazing how after not seeing him for a couple of months, we can sit here and act as if we don't miss one another, but his pride is too high and mine just won't fly.

"Now introducing Judge Lucille Hamilton.", the officer standing in front of everyone shuffled over to the side of the room as a middle aged, African American woman came and took her place up front. She looked no older than forty and had a mean mug out of this world. Just by visualizing her face, I had no idea where this was going.