The Evermore Dissociate(Creek)

0076

That night, after Tweek had slammed his bedroom door shut, he'd instantly headed over to his bedside table to take his medication. He was annoyed, considering nobody had thought to tell him about them over the past week, and the built up anxiety coursing through his body, ached.

Exhausted eyes that lingered over the window, became increasingly heavy. There were no tears left to cry, yet he still felt as though he wept inside. Something in him changed that day. It was almost as though he'd lost the light in his heart that gave him the strength to carry on. And so, a week passed with little movement. Tweek stayed in his bed throughout the day, only getting up to use the bathroom.

His mom would bring him food, quietly watching as her son turned in bed to face away from her. She didn't know what else to do. Nobody knew about Tweek's recovered memories that had overwhelmed him, so his parents were left to think that he was just having a hard time adjusting.

That was far from the truth though. Now, all that Tweek wanted, was to forget. He wanted to be naive, once again. He wanted to free himself of the burden that was his life, because now, as Tweek closed his eyes in torment, he'd had enough.

He was done being the victim, done being the love struck puppy that cowered by Craig's side. He was just done, entirely finished - wrestled into submission by his own mind.

No visitors were allowed, and many times, Craig was sent away by Tweek's mom under strict orders. Each day, Craig returned, hoping this time, he'd be let inside. He was never allowed inside though, and that left him feeling utterly restless.

-

It was a Friday afternoon as Craig walked the streets, towards the coffee shop. This morning, he'd received a message from his dad, asking if they could meet up for a talk. Despite not wanting to, Craig decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.

His earphones wedged themselves within, blocking the sharp, cold air from passing through. His hair stuck up from the harsh winds that surrounded the town, but that didn't matter to Craig as he focused on the song currently playing.

When he stood a few feet from the coffee shop, seeing his father sitting by the window with his head down, Craig debated turning around, whilst he still could. Even as the battle of 'do or don't' played out in his mind, Craig's shoes continued to explore the ground beneath them as he made his way inside.

Tweek's dad was working today, and as Craig stepped further into the small coffee shop, Richard purposely kept his head down. It was odd, considering the man usually jumped at the chance to greet his customers, but Craig just figure that he felt obliged to look away, since his sons obvious avoidance.

It made Craig feel strange inside. Like he was missing something, but he wasn't sure what. Glancing away from Richard, Craig frowned once he noticed his own dad already staring from where he sat. The steps that followed were hesitantly unsure, but soon enough, Craig was sitting opposite Thomas in silence.

The older Tucker parted his mouth as he searched for the words to greet his own son, but when Craig settled on glaring off to the side, a greeting was harder to come up with than it seemed.

Thomas still looked like a spiralling mess. At least this time, he didn't stink of alcohol, which was somewhat of an improvement. His meaty fingers wrapped around the warm mug resting on the table, and after exhaling a weary breath, he began.

"Look, Craig." Thomas lowly mumbled in his apologetic voice. "I know that I have no right to ask, and I don't blame you if you say no, but will you forgive me?"

Beneath the table, Craig squeezed his hands into a fist, attempting to control his emotions as he glanced towards his dad. He wasn't an idiot, and there was no way he was going to forgive this man for all of the suffering he'd caused during Craig's life.

"No." Craig stated, looking Thomas in the eye without regret. "I don't."

"I understand." Thomas says, moving his dry hand to rub at his overgrown beard. He looked down at the polished table in thought. "You know, when you were just a boy, about five or six, you'd follow me everywhere. We were a team, you and me. You always said you wanted to be like me when you grew up."

Upturning his nose in disgust, Craig shook his head. "I'm nothing like you."

"I know, and I'm so proud of you for that."

His fathers words confused Craig. They stirred something within his chest, and as he avoided eye contact once again, Thomas took a long sip from his drink that had now gone cold.

"You're strong. You're a real Tucker, and I know one day, you're going to be a better father than I ever was."

The feeling in Craig's chest expanded. He hated Thomas so much, and no amount of soft words were going to change that. He thought about what Thomas had just said about him one day being a father, and then, for some reason, he thought about Tweek.

He thought about the day he'd unsuccessfully chased after Tweek, and how his impulse had been to agree to everything Tweek was saying. He thought about their kiss on the school roof that one time, and how awkward it had been, but then he thought about the night he and Tweek laid next to one another in bed, and how much he'd wanted to do it all over again.

And though he was unsure of what this meant for the both of them, he knew that he didn't want to lose Tweek. Perhaps being frozen out for a week had finally cleared the fog from his mind. He just hoped he'd get his second chance.

"Craig?" Thomas muttered as he watched his son. As he did, Craig thought about second chances, and how Thomas didn't deserve one. He found the confidence to stare his father in the eye, one final time.

"I'm gay." Craig drawled, soaking in the conflicted expression his dad wore. It was a mixture between horrified and stunned, and despite Craig feeling weird for saying that, he continued to stand his ground.

"You're um," Thomas stumbled on his words as he scratched his head. "Gay?"

Unsure whether or not he really was, Craig only just managed to nod his head in reply. It felt too forced, but something inside Craig's head was telling him this 'forgiveness' story, was all just an act. If it was, Thomas was staying in role rather well.

The older Tucker leaned over the table to put his hand on Craig's shoulder. This was his way of showing acceptance, and despite Craig tensing up under the touch, the hand remained in place as Thomas spoke. "It's okay," he began in a voice as soft as he could manage.

That wasn't the reply Craig had been expecting, but before he'd had the chance to talk himself, or even to nudge the hand from his shoulder, Thomas continued, swallowing harshly before he did so. "Maybe now that we're on the same page and sharing things, you could put in a good word to your mother for me? And the gay thing isn't a problem, I know a guy who can help you. He's fixed loads of kids before."

That had been the reply Craig had been expecting. He breathed in as his eyes flickered to the table, and as he felt the hand being removed from his shoulder, he thought about Tweek and second chances, because now, as he distantly listened to Thomas rambling, he no longer believed in second chances.