DYING OF THE LIGHT ➣ BEN SOLO

TWENTY - FOUR

[ A NEW HOPE ]

IN THE COOL HOURS OF THE NIGHT, HALO FOUND SOLACE.

the wind brushed gently along the angry skin on her torso, exposed in the fading night sky. the sound of waves crashing on the shores below rang in her ears, as did the crackling of rey's fire a small distance from where halo sat. luke had disappeared once again, meditating for what must have been the hundredth time that day. halo didn't know what he was searching for, what answers he was expecting to find in his long hours of introspection. he had barely spoken to her, to rey. his solitude did not end with their arrival, as she had expected it would. but she did not let this hurt her. she knew it was no fault of her own. luke would have to heal in his own good time. and that was something that not even the greatest of jedi masters could help him with.

her long fingers brushed against her skin. she winced heavily under the weight of her fingertips, the skin along her taut stomach blossoming with pain everywhere her finger traced.

every time she looked at the violent red scars along her belly, she thought of him. no matter how hard she tried, she could not seem to keep him away. she thought coming to ahch-to would help. if anything, it only brought them closer to each other.

a soft sigh escaped her lips. she began to run her fingers up to her shirt, slowly tugging the fabric down over her loosely fitting bandages. but as she moved, a strange feeling came about her.

it was as if, in the cold night air, she was no longer alone. something dark, something cold clung to her soul like glue. creeping up through the cracks of her strong decorum as though it was nothing. her heartbeats quickened, her senses heightened. her blue eyes darted around her, but found nothing that had not been there before. rey was still there, sleeping in the distance. luke was still absent. there was only darkness.

and then, he was there.

she felt something strange well up inside of her, a mixture of confusion, panic, chaos, pain. how could she be looking at him? how had he come to her from nothing? was she losing her mind?

his dark hair was tangled as it fell over his eyes, still a mass of thick curls as she had remembered it. his eyes were dark, cloudy, filled with so many things that she could not even begin to understand their beginnings or their ends. violet circles bruised underneath his tired eyes, and a scar ran up the length of his face. halo knew who gave it to him.

slowly, his fingers reached to her still exposed stomach, but just as quickly as they had, they fell back to his sides, curling into fists. his lips pressed together in a firm line.

she could not see his surroundings. only him. it was like he was right there.

but that was impossible.

wasn't it?

her lips parted in a stunned silence, the urge to scream filling her throat. but before she had the chance to do or say anything, he spoke. softly, raggedly.

"you're alive?"

halo tried to avoid his gaze, tried to close herself off from him. his emotions were far too overwhelming for her to bear. and she would not allow herself to be fooled by them. this was the man who killed han solo. this was the man who tried to kill her, who was responsible for the downfall of one of the greatest jedi of all time.

her anger was tensely rising in her soul. she hid it away well, but it was still there. and kylo ren could feel it.

"did i do that?" he asked, his eyes still on her stomach. she didn't move, she didn't blink. her eyes remained on the ground in front of her, fingers urgently tugging her shirt down over the pale expanse of her scarred skin.

"i'm sorry."

she let out a ruthless breath, nearly a laugh. she had no trust left in him, no way of knowing if he really meant what he said. and she had been betrayed by him too many times.

"you have that same look in your eye, from the forest. when you wanted to kill me."

he was wrong. it had never been her motive to kill. it was the sith side of him talking, the one that expected everyone to act on behalf of their passion. halo was not that person. she was a jedi. and he underestimated that part of her.

"you're a monster," halo seethed, her fingers clenching into fists.

"yes i am."

and then, he was gone.

halo's eyes searched the cool night air frantically, her stomach tumbling with the weight of his final words. she had not expected such a candid reply, such a poignant one. he had sounded so broken, so beaten. so lifeless. without the energy to vex her as he once had.

a small part of her wished he would come back.

she did not know why.

but something about seeing him again had resolved a conflict that had been buried deep within her. and before she knew what she was doing, she had flung open the door to her old master's hut.

the aging man awoke fitfully, his eyes widening at the sight of halo.

"are you alright?"

she nodded, her lips pressed into a firm line. she walked to the edge of the small cot he slept on, and enclosed her fingers around his shoulder. her gaze was unyielding. she would not let him continue in this way.

"tomorrow at dawn, we train. all of us."

she could see his move to protest, but it was silenced by the hardness of her azure irises.

"that is what it will take to defeat the first order. you and me and rey. together. a new hope."

she gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze before exiting his small hut.

the ghost of ben solo lingered into the early morning sun. but that night, for the first time in weeks, she did not dream.

[ you guys im so sorry that this is so bad.

but i still love it.

:')

and i love you.

thanks for always making me smile with your votes and incredibly kind words, they inspire me to carry on.

more things to come, and very soon. this story is going to get rolling ;)

- kona ]