My Fault

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The hospital released me the next morning. I had 3 broken ribs, a sprained wrist, and a concussion.

Greeaaat.

I was trying to be in good spirits though. I even let Gaz take a pic if he promised not to post it because I looked like ass.

"Chiiillll you're always beautiful bebita!"
🙄

He took me straight home. As he was driving, I checked my phone for the first time since before the show last night. My phone was on
4 % and honestly, so was I.

I decided that the only option I really had was to block Diego

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I decided that the only option I really had was to block Diego. Even if I felt something, it wasn't worth losing what I had with Gazzy.

Does he fuck up sometimes? Yes.
Does he piss me off? Yes.
Is he perfect? No.
Does he yell ESSSKEEETTTITT directly into my ear sometimes? Absolutely.
But.. he'd die for me, he'd do anything for me. I've never had that before, with any man. Not my dad, not my exes, nobody.

And I fucking love his stupid noodle-headed ass.

And I fucking love his stupid noodle-headed ass

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I mean look at that face ❤️

_______________________

He got me into bed, gave me my pain meds, and a joint of course. He even ordered me soup from my favorite restaurant in LA.

He's doing everything he can to show me he cares, like he always does.

"Here you go babygirl." He set the large bowl of soup down on the bedside table "Has that nigga tried talkin to you?"

I nodded slowly "He did.. but I blocked him."

He smiled

"That's my baby.. Imma head down to the lab and get some work done wit Purp... I'll come back up to check on you in a lil bit, iite?"

"Don't you wanna rest?" I asked him

"I will later. Promise."

"Babe..?"

"Yuh?"

"Thank you for taking care of me." I said bashfully

"Aye... I'mma do my best to always take care of you. I love you ma."

"I love you too.. put some ice on your eye!" I advised

"Yeah, yeah." He mocked, laughing "Get some rest."

He kissed my forehead and left the room.

Gazzy's Point of View

I was exhausted. I hadn't slept at all. I was starving, shaking, and I still felt like shit about all this... but despite everything that happened, Elle still said she loved me. She was still smiling, or at least tryin to. I tried to break up with her at her weakest moment, which was so fuckin stupid, but I wasn't doin that shit to be selfish, I was tryna prevent her from getting hurt more by the never-ending mess that is my life... but she wouldn't let me.

How can she still wanna stay?

I dragged myself through the house, my phone rang once I reached the kitchen.

I dragged myself through the house, my phone rang once I reached the kitchen

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I picked up.

"Hey ma, before you star-"

"ESTAS LOCO??!"
(ARE YOU CRAZY??!)

...😑

"Qué te dije acerca de pelear?!" She yelled "Dios mio, you're going to send me to an early grave, is that what you want??"
(What did I tell you about fighting?!)

"Ma, I—"

"Estás bien y Elle está bien? Que paso!?"
(Are you and Elle okay? What happened?!)

I sank to the ground.

"Si. We're—We're okay. We all got a lil roughed up, but we iite. Mamá?"

My eyes began to sting with tears

"Fue mi c-ulpa..."
(It was my fault...)

"GG..."

"I love her so much. I can't figure out why she  loves me back... I keep doin stupid shit and she keeps getting hurt. I-I ain't ever felt like this—"

I broke. I feel like such a lil bitch. Crying on my own damn kitchen floor. But I feel like shit.

"GG..." She began "When you brought Elle here to meet us, I'd never seen you look at anyone that way before. Your eyes lit up whenever she would speak. But you know what? She looked at you exactly the same way. There will be ups and downs. El amor no es fácil, mijo."
(Love isn't easy, my son.)

"I d-don't deserve her, ma.."

"You drove me crazy as a kid, you know that?"  She began "Always getting kicked out of class, fighting, talking back... The notes from your teachers were all the same 'Gazzy doesn't focus'. Then you found your music, and for the first time, you really wanted something, and you focused on it. While I don't always agree with what you do or what your music is about, Elle is wonderful and she holds your focus. You deserve a woman like that in your life, just like all your other blessings, mijo."

I wiped my tears away with the back of my hand.

"Gracias, mama.."

We chatted a bit longer, and she continued to offer words of comfort before we ended our conversation.

I wasn't sure if I felt any better.

I headed down to the lab where Purp was waiting and buried myself in music for a while. Shits like therapy for me. I recorded a couple of songs, helped with a few beats... I felt at home. I felt okay.

"Shit was crazy last night bro." Purp said

"I know..."

"You had to do what you had to do nigga. I woulda done the same thing.. You and Elle good?"

I thought for a moment.

"Yeah.. yeah we good."


🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀
this chapter is garbage I apologize, still not 100% sure where this story is headed. I haven't been able to write as often because work was CRAZYYY this week man. Plus all this wedding bs I'm tryna do 🤦🏽‍♀️ bear with me. luv u all

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