Lipstick Lullaby

Chapter Thirty

HAZEL

"My, nagdudugo na ako..." I heard her cry in the backseat of my car. 

"Malapit na tayo." Her mother shushed her, stroking her head.

"Ganda, wala na bang ibibilis itong kotse mo?" Her 'Ninang', as she calls him, anxiously said as she sat in the passenger's seat next to me.

I hit the accelerator, speeding up the car as fast as the speed limit could permit. Maybe even going way beyond at some point. 

I drove them to the hospital as Saskia writhed in pain. Sinalubong agad kami ng nurses nang itigil ko ang kotse sa harap ng ER. She was brought into the ER and was checked by the doctor. Her mother and Ninang were panicking, pacing back and forth outside the curtained area, as she was being checked. She had been crying and wailing from inside the curtained area and the nurses and doctors were frantically going in and out of there while we just sat outside, watching it all happen. 

"Doc, ano pong nangyari? Kumusta po si Saskia?" Her mother asked when the doctor pulled the curtain that surrounded her bed and came out of it.

"The patient is still passing blood clot. Kinailangan din namin siyang turukan ng painkiller dahil sabi niya hindi niya kaya ang paghilab ng tiyan niya." The doctor explained.

"Yung bata kumusta?" Saskia's Ninang asked.

"I'm afraid she's having a miscarriage." The doctor answered in a somber tone.

"Baks, ano yun?" Her mother asked.

"Wala na yung baby, Sasha..." His face fell.

"I'm sorry, we did the best we could. Once the miscarriage has begun, there is nothing that can be done to stop it. Binigyan na naminsiya ng medicine para mapadali ang pag-pass ng pregnancy tissue which is the fetus itself. Hintayin na lang po natin lumabas ang fetus at pwede na namin kayong i-release." The doctor said.

Saskia's mother and ninang looked at each other with worry on their faces. 

"Doc, what could be the possible cause of her miscarriage?" I couldn't help but ask. To be honest, I felt like I had been a part of this. There was this gnawing guilt inside me that told me if I hadn't showed up hindi sana mangyayari ito. "Could it be stress?"

"That could be a possible factor but in many cases, miscarriages have no identifiable cause." She answered.

I quietly nodded my head and the doctor excused herself before walking away. 

"Paano na yan? Paano natin 'to sasabihin kay Saskia at Migs?" The sadness in her mother's voice was palpable.

I didn't exactly know what to feel. I never expected that this would happen. I would be a hypocrite if I say I didn't hate her. I had done my fair share of time hating her for ruining the future I planned with Migs. I had ripped her to shreds in mind. But this was beyond what I had ever wished would happen. 

I came to see her because I wanted closure for myself. I was ready to accept that I had lost him to some harlot and that they were going to have a baby together. That they deserved each other. I was ready to tell Dad and everyone that there wasn't going to be a wedding. I was ready to accept that I was a failure. I had failed as a girlfriend to Migs by losing him and as a daughter to my father for not being able to keep him.

SASKIA

"My... Nang..." Pagbukas ko pa lang ng mga mata ko ay sila ang una kong nakita. Pareho silang nakaupo sa silya sa tabi ng kama ko at nakatanghod sa akin. Sinubukan kong umupo pero agad akong hinawakan ni Ninang at pilit na pinahiga ulit.