Step-Brother • e.d

FORTY-NINE

ETHAN

"How did I let him get to me again?" I hear her ask herself as I stood in the bathroom. But the tone in voice she used, she sounds upset about it. I don't understand why I can't seem to let go of her like I did with the others.

Then again she isn't just another girl I slept with because it's much more with her. She's different because I actually care about her and how she's doing but obviously I'm not doing any good for her. I need to let her go but how can I? She's all I think about.

I'm hooked on her she likes hooked on weed. The way she laughs and tries to hide it. Or how she turns red when you compliment her. She's nothing alike the other girls. She has her own style of clothing and stands up for herself and the people she cares about.

"Stop messing with my head," I whisper under my breathe. But I'm the one to blame not her.
—
I was in the car with Brianna on our way to buy more things for the baby. The car ride was silent which made me uncomfortable. "How is it going with Macy?" she blurts out breaking the silence. I just let out a sigh. "We don't have to talk about it," she says

I shake my head softly. "It's okay and not going well. I know I need to forget about what we had but how can I? I miss her so much but like I'm not good enough for her and she's right we aren't right for each other because all we really did was hurt each other. All this sucks so much,"

"It hurts to move on to be honest with you, look at me my boyfriend died and here I am pregnant making you think you were the father. But Riley will have the best support because I will give it to her," Brianna starts to smile but tearing up as she brings up Dylan. "Ethan, it's not that you aren't good enough for each other but the fact that you dad is married to her mother. I know you guys aren't related by blood but once Macy tries to go for something she doesn't give up,"

Who knew I would be driving to the store and having a conversation with Brianna and our soon to be child- even though it's not mine. I will treat her like she is my own. I probably won't be the best father but I am sure as hell I will try to. "So you're going to name her Riley?" I ask her and she nods as she places her right hand running over her belly bump.

She sniffles,"Dylan wanted it to be Riley if it was a girl. So I will name her like that even though he isn't here I know he would be happy to know that's her name. I miss him so much- and it hurts so much how I can't raise his daughter with him like we wanted to. We had plans for the future already, I know I'm young but we had it all worked out but he-- died," she croaks and starts to break down.

I felt frozen because when it came to comforting people I was never the best at it. "But I am thankful you are willing to help, means a lot. He will thank you for it and would be proud to have someone by my side with Riley," I smile but feeling like a complete idiot because I should be able to comfort people in their time of need. But instead I am only good at sex and putting woman to bed.

---

Brianna was back home but I decided to make a change in myself. I am about to raise a kid soon. "Hi, how may I help you?" the lady up front greeted me

I felt my palms start to sweat,"I was wondering if I can volunteer to help around with kids?" I asked but stuttered. She nods and hands me papers to fill out

>>>> time goes by

I get up from my chair and hand her the papers. "Here is your badge," she hands me a sticker with a sharpie. I write my name "Ethan Dolan" and she proceeds to show me around the school. Finally we get to a stopping point, the class I had to help with.