To Change a City (Divergent/Eric) 3 of 3 COH Series

Chapter 15 (Eric's POV)

Switchfoot—'Live It Well'

We spent the evening off visiting my family and our friends. I'll see my parents in the morning before we leave but Elliot had a hard time letting me go tonight.
"Maybe we could take some time off throughout the year and visit," Hosanna offers as we walk down the hallway together.
I nod, "Yeah, maybe."
The two of us go to our room. She packs our bags but leaves some things behind, set on coming back soon. I sit down and think about how my little brother was so heartbroken at me leaving. My thoughts are interrupted by a soft knock on the door. I get up and open it, revealing Matthew.
"Hey, Hosanna wanted me to visit," he says.
I open the door for him. We walk over to sit in our lounge area together.  Hosanna put the guitar and case in here since she wants to bring it back. Hopefully we won't run into any trouble taking it inside the city. If we do, I'll just say it was a gift from Amity.
I lean back and prop my feet up on the ottoman. "So, Hosanna told me about her," I say since Matthew's staying quieter than usual, fidgeting with his fingers.
"Yeah," he smiles staring off like a lovestruck schoolboy. Yup, that's how I felt about my wife before we got together.
Hosanna walks into the sitting area, sets my bag down beside the guitar, kisses me, and pauses before walking back to the closet. "Oh, hello Matthew. I didn't hear you come in," she says.
He shakes himself out of his daze. "Hi. Um... I brought you something," he responds. Yeah, he's definitely thinking about someone else. I don't think Amar has ever felt like that or he wouldn't be giving him so much trouble.
"Okay. Are you staying for a little while?" she asks.
"If you don't mind," he replies.
"Just let me finish packing up some more. Eric darling, did you want me to charge your phone for you?" she questions.
"Yeah, sure. It could use a charging," I respond. I pass it to her and she grins at the three quarters full battery.
Matthew is drifting off again, clearly in love. "You know, I remember the first time I saw my wife. That's exactly how I felt about her," I say gesturing to the face he's making.
He turns to me and laughs softly. "Oh, yeah. I've never heard this story," he grins giving me his full attention.
I chuckle thinking about it. "Well... I was six, starting my first day of school that year. It was her first day of kindergarten," I begin. "We were both out at recess. I was playing baseball in the field with some of my friends from Erudite. I saw a grey blur pass by quickly, catching my eye and distracting me from the game. It was an Abnegation girl running around and climbing the jungle gym with some of the Dauntless and other factions. I remember thinking how unusual that was. All of the Abnegation but her brought out the supplies for us, walked around the track, or sat quietly in the grass. They never played. Never. I just couldn't keep my eyes off of her. She was so pretty yet perplexing at the same time. It was like she didn't care about the faction parameters. She just did her own thing, never getting scolded.
"I was so completely hypnotized by this beautiful, young girl that I missed the ball when it got thrown to me. I got hit in the eye with it instead. I didn't cry or anything since I was kind of a tough kid. But I had to go to the nurse's office. They gave me an ice pack and I sat there for a while until the swelling went down. I just sat on that cot and thought about who that girl was. There wasn't as much of a taboo going on with Erudite and Abnegation at the time so I just envisioned how I'd like to meet her someday. I recall thinking about how the next time I saw her, I would try to gather the courage to go up and talk to her. I was kind of shy back then though, so I was hoping I could just do it.
"I remember being late for lunch and I walked into the cafeteria after everyone had started eating. I saw her at a table with the rest of the Abnegation kids. She was sitting with another boy in my grade. They were holding hands under the table and my heart was crushed. I was intending on talking to her if I ever got the nerve but after seeing that, I just kept my distance.
"She had the same recess and lunch as me that first year, but after that, I just saw her in the hallway, talking with kids from all factions. She was often with that same boy throughout the years. I watched her from a distance, always interested in what she was doing. On the rare occasions when my dad would pick me up after baseball practice, I had to wait longer in front of the school. I would see her from time to time leaving with some other Abnegation to walk home. They must've volunteered after school or something since they were never in sports.
"She always caught everyone's attention whenever she walked by, though. The majority of the teachers even adored her. I remember some of the boys nudging each other just to watch her pass by. As the years progressed, she grew more and more beautiful. I recall seeing her sometimes in the hallway with that same boy. Once, I remember him having a black eye. Then he'd have a busted lip or look to be a little sore. I assumed that some of the Dauntless gave him trouble since he had such a pretty girl. I caught them in the hallway together one time just before the bell rang. They were hugging. The boy got scolded for the public affection from my teacher before I walked into class but I never caught his name in school. It's funny, all those years in the same grade, but he was never in any of my classes.
"My last day of school in the third level, I was one of the first students called back for my aptitude test. I finished and was told that I could leave. I waited around to see if there was anyone I wanted to say goodbye to in my old faction. I knew I was leaving to Dauntless and I just was seeing if I cared enough for anybody passing by to talk with them before I left for good. The bell rang and a few people passed me but nobody I'd really call friends. Then she walked by me and leaned up against one of the magnolia trees in bloom. I couldn't believe it. She was right in front of me—this beautiful girl I've been pinning over for years. She was never alone. But here she was, before me, as if tempting me to come and talk with her. A couple of Stiffs came out, chatted with her and left. Then she grabbed a flower from the tree, admired it, and smelled it... kind of odd thing for an Abnegation girl to do. I assumed she'd pick Amity in the future or something. It was so weird, I kept thinking about how much she was like my mom—out of place in her own faction.
"I decided I would follow her home... not to stalk her or anything. I just wanted to know who she was, where she lived. I was thinking of sending her flowers once I became a member of Dauntless, maybe with a note or a love letter. I figured there'd be no way her Stiff boyfriend would ever transfer to Dauntless and maybe I could coax her into it. Then, she looked at me. That was the first time her eyes ever met mine.  We just stared at each other for a moment. I was surprised she didn't think I was creepy or something. All of the sudden, she smiled and waved at me. I was taken aback that she was so casual, so friendly with me. I decided right then and there to go talk to her. It didn't matter what we would talk about... I just wanted to meet her. I pushed off of the building I was leaned up against and strode over to her. But that boy she was always with beat me to it, pulled her up, and walked off with her before I could get the chance."
I look over to Matthew to see him hanging on every word of mine. "Then what happened?" he inquires curiously.
"I'm dying to know, too," Hosanna says from behind me.
I look over my shoulder to see her with her bag packed. "How long have you been standing there?" I question a little embarrassed.
She shrugs and saunters over, dropping her bag beside mine. She takes a seat on the sofa next to Matthew but closer to me. She props her feet up with mine on the ottoman.
I stare at her waiting for an answer. She bites her lip. "Just before you got hit in the eye," she says guiltily.
She's been listening in this whole time? I chuckle until the awkwardness wears off. "So... I was pretty upset about the whole thing, missing out on my one chance with her," I say shrugging. "I just figured it wasn't meant to be, so I went home. The next morning at my Choosing Ceremony, I saw them together and I couldn't keep my eyes off of her.  She glanced at me a couple times, even with him by her side.  I chose Dauntless as planned. But just after, that same Stiff—the one I assumed was her boyfriend—put his blood on the coals, too. He strode up next to me with the rest of the transfers. He looked at me expectantly, like I would be his friend or something. I scoffed at him irritated. Being so close to him, I hadn't realized how thin he was before. I didn't think he would even make it on the train. I climbed on easily with the rest of the transfers, tossing my blue jacket and tie out the door. I didn't see the Abnegation transfer anywhere so I assumed he didn't make it... Factionless," I shrug.
"We arrived at the compound and I saw he was already there. Some Dauntless born teased him saying they hoped there would've been a Stiff pancake to be scraped off of the pavement. I actually thought it was a pretty cruel and tasteless joke, considering they were hoping he died but I didn't say anything. I was new too and I didn't want to make any enemies. I realized I was still wearing my glasses.  I didn't need them for vision.  Jeanine insisted on me wearing them—to look more Erudite or something.  I pulled them off and crushed them on the ground with my foot.  The same Dauntless born patted me on the back for that.  Zeke volunteered to jump first through the entrance but he failed and ended up tripping. Then, I jumped next. It was such a rush that first time, but soon lost its thrill for me. The Stiff was dead last jumping and was immediately teased by the others, joking about how he might vomit. I still kept my mouth shut but he grew a backbone and yelled at the Dauntless born. I was surprised and thought he might actually be some competition for me. Amar took us up to the fear landscape room. Of course with my Erudite curiosity, I questioned how it worked and was forced to go first. I went through all twelve of my fears in my first moments as a Dauntless so quickly that everyone was impressed. At dinner that night, they were finally finishing up with the rest of the initiates. The Stiff came to dinner last, pale-faced and completely freaked out. I joined in teasing him because I was afraid he'd be my competition there like he was with my crush. Amar gave him his nickname at dinner since he had the lowest amount of fears in Dauntless history: Four."
"Oh my goodness, you thought they were dating?" Matthew chuckles.
I shrug. "How would I have known? A lot of other guys in school thought they were together, my friends included," I explain.
"Really?" Hosanna asks. "That's so weird."
I shrug again, "Anyway, Four ended up beating me in our fight and ranking first in initiation. He was chosen with me to be a leader in training. Ours was a competition though instead of just being given the slot—probably Egan's idea. I think I was only chosen because Jeanine insisted. I knew Max wasn't too fond of me but he adored Four. I admit I was so jealous of him. He got everything I always wanted. He eventually dropped out of the running for leadership so I received the position and I still have no idea why he did it. I worked hard to become a strong leader.
"At the next initiation, I agreed to wait on the roof for the initiates. The train appeared and I saw that someone was oddly with Max in his train car. His companion jumped out and skillfully skidded across the roof. I was hypnotized again. It was a girl, wearing grey," I smile at the memory. "I was entranced by the sight. Max put his arm around her and led her to meet me. The moment I saw her face... it felt like my heart stopped. I couldn't believe she was there, in Dauntless."  I look to my wife and she's smiling.  "She got closer to me and I was practically jumping out of my skin.  I wasn't sure if I would vomit or faint or just make a fool out of myself by tripping on my face," I laugh.  "I saw those gorgeous dimples for the first time and and her royal blue eyes," I grin.  "I was surprised when she introduced herself to me.  She reached out her hand to shake mine so confidently.  The moment we touched," I say reaching out for her hand.  "I still feel it; my skin tingling like electricity is coursing through my veins, my heart beating so fast it feels like it will jump out of my chest," I explain as our fingers intertwine.  "I just knew that she was everything I thought she'd be and more.  It's as if the moment we first touched, the puzzle of my life was complete.  I knew who she was to me and I felt this pull, this connection to her.  She was meant to be mine and I to her.  Every moment after was like that.  I've never felt any different about being with her.  I continue to wake up every morning thinking that I'm still dreaming, surprised that the girl my dreams is actually by my side, my wife," I shake my head.  "It's still unbelievable."
"Wow," Matthew whispers.
"Yeah, that pretty much sums him up for me, too," Hosanna says softly. 
We stay in silence for a moment.  I think Matthew is digesting my words, thinking over his feelings for Julia.
"So... Matthew, what made you change your mind?" Hosanna asks. 
He shrugs and picks up the guitar.  He tunes it quickly by ear.  He strums a few notes off then plays some chords before pausing. "I figured if she's not interested, I'd find out quickly so I'm not wasting away on something I can never have," he explains as he plays. 
"Yeah," she nods.  "That makes sense." 
We listen to him continue the song.  "Life is short.  I want live it well," he sings softly. He's good... really good.  Hosanna must be familiar with the song since she starts to sing along quietly.  Matthew chuckles.  "This song was playing over and over in my head when we talked before, like God was speaking to me."
She smiles widely.  "Sometimes he's practically shouting at you to listen," she responds happily.  "Other times..." she nudges him with her finger a couple times.  "He's just trying to grab your attention and you almost miss it."
"Yeah," he nods still playing. 
"Matthew...." she taunts, trailing off.  "Are you going to tell us about Julia?" she says gently.  I laugh softly.  I know she's so interested in this.  She tries staying out of everyone's business but when it comes to her close friends, she just can't help herself. 
Matthew smiles.  "So what do you want to hear about?" he laughs lightly, bashfully. 
"When did this happen?" she inquires climbing onto her knees on the cushion, practically bouncing on the sofa.  In this moment, she kind of reminds me of Mia. 
"Um... after you two left last year, I got kind of lonely again," he starts. "I was trying to hang out more with George and Amar.  I was actually waiting for George to get off his shift and we were going to meet up with Amar at the bar for dinner one night.  I was seated at the console beside him which was active but someone was on break.  The feed from the nursery was on there. I heard two girls talking about you and Eric. I couldn't help myself from listening into the conversation at that point. I saw Julia turn around and I just stared at her. It's like I couldn't hear anything else and I struggled just to breathe. She was so beautiful. When I could finally focus on what she was saying, they were worried about how you had guards with you that day during training. I questioned George about it and he explained the situation with your mother. I'm sorry about that by the way, David said he didn't even know until then that she was alive," he explains. Hosanna nods trying not to cry. I know that's a delicate issue with her.
"Anyway, the concern in her voice for you was real, like you were good friends," he continues. "I started to listen in on occasion sometimes when I passed by since I knew where she worked. She is so good with the children, by the way.  I watched how she and her friends became members. They were all so grateful, like you saved their lives or something.  I tried not to watch her too much... I didn't want to be creepy and stalk her or anything, just on occasion when I heard you were having a party or when I happened to be in the area.
"I noticed how she adores you and loves you like I do, a great friend.  I feel like there are few people in life that you truly connect with and she's definitely that for me.  But I feel so much more than friendship for her.  I think it's similar to what Eric was explaining, like I'm drawn to her.  There's something great between us, at least from my end," he shrugs.  "I suppose we can give this a try to see what happens.  I guess I just fell in love with her and I wonder whether she would even give someone like me a chance."
He pulls something out of his jacket pocket and gives it to my wife. It looks like a letter. "You didn't seal the envelope," she says with furrowed brows.
He shrugs, "I figured you could read it and tell me if it's okay."
Hosanna grins widely. "Really?" she questions excitedly.
"Sure," he says casually. "If you think it needs work, I could always rewrite it." He pulls a blank piece of paper, a pen, and another envelope out of his pocket.
She slips a folded piece of paper from the envelope gently setting it aside.  She cautiously opens the folded letter.  It appears to be quite long, several pages actually.  She looks as if she's reading it.
"Baby," I say.
"Yeah?" she responds.
"Aren't you going to read that aloud?" I question. She lowers the letters slightly, meeting my eyes with hers.  She smirks before reading:

'Dear Julia,

We've never met, but I've seen you around the compound before.  My closest friends convinced me to write to you.  I'll admit I was hesitant about doing so for several reasons.  I want to start out saying that I will never lie to you or try to deceive you.  The problem is... I would like to meet you but that's just not possible.  I've only seen you before from the control room.  Some friends of mine work there and I happened to hear you and Abby speaking about Hosanna and Eric.  You were concerned about their wellbeing, as was I when I found out why those guards were protecting her.  I'm glad you care for my friends as much as I do.  I love them both dearly as if they're my own family.  I could say that's what drew me to you and in fact it did draw me.  But the first time I saw you, it was love at first sight.  You are so beautiful that I dream about you every waking moment.  It's not just your looks that attract me to you, though.  You are gorgeous inside and out.  The way you are with the children amazes me.  You're so kind, patient, and gentle with them.  Your smile melts my heart. 
I guess I just want to say that if you would like to talk with me, I'd really like that.  If you're not interested, I'm sorry if I was too forward and I apologize for wasting your time.  But if you are in fact interested, please continue to read the next letter.  If you're not, please disregard it.'

Hosanna stops reading and glances at Matthew smiling.  "It's perfect," she says. 
"Thank you," he replies softly. 
"Can I read the next one?" she whispers. 
He nods shyly.  She continues:

'Dearest Julia,

I love you, with all my heart.  The first time I saw you, I was so captivated I couldn't breathe.  You move with the grace of an angel, your demeanor as if the very hand of God has blessed you.  You bring comfort to everyone you encounter. Just seeing you on the screens makes my day so much better.
I've never seen your equal in beauty.  Your hair glistens in the light of day as if you have beams of sunlight radiating from you.  Your smile brightens every room.  Your voice so calming at times, then makes my heart race at alarming rates immediately after.  I wish I knew the color of your eyes.  Sadly, the surveillance makes it so difficult to see such details. 
I imagine there may be a day in the future that we could meet, but until that day comes, I will go on loving you from afar.  Just know that with you in my heart, I will never be alone since you are so dear to me. 

All of my love,
Matthew'

"Oh Matthew, that was so... beautiful," Hosanna says. 
"It's lovely," I tell him and he smiles at me.  He takes the letters after Hosanna puts them back into the envelope.  He seals it and writes Julia's name on the outside.  Matthew sighs once before slipping it in with the instruction books he gave my wife for the guitar inside the case. 
"But seriously, what will you say? She's going to ask about me: where I am, what faction and so forth?" he says soberly.
"I really don't know," Hosanna admits. "Eric, what do you think?"
I nod. This will be difficult. We've brought our guards here though so maybe next time and on occasion, we could bring her. "Why don't we give her the letters? We'll make sure to do it in a place without surveillance of any sort and we'll go from there. We'll decide what to divulge as she questions us but only what she asks about," I say. They all agree with the plan.

*****Thanks so much for reading!  I hope you enjoyed this glimpse of Eric's thoughts on Hosanna growing up and Matthew's infatuation with Julia.*****

Words of Wisdom:

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Matthew 6:34 NIV

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!"
2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."
John 10:10 NIV