The Shadows ✔️ [TSS#3][BXB]

XV

Warning: sensitive topics (bulimia, blood, anxiety etc.) Please read with caution.

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"Malakei? Can you pass me the potatoes?"

Anya questions from my right making Malakei look up from his plate that he has been staring at for the last few minutes, taking small bites of his dinner. He hands her the small tray of steaming potatoes and I can't help but watch her as she scoops two into her plate. Laying the tray down beside her. When she notices my eyes on her she looks up.

"I'm sorry. Would you like some?"

"How can you eat at a time like this?" I can't help but whisper out. Immediately regretting saying anything and look down at my untouched plate of food as I sink back in my chair. Curling my lip, I bring my hand up and push the food away. Malakei gives me a stern look.

"You need to eat something Keylin. You didn't eat this morning." He points out and I look up at him.

"With all that has happened, I guess I just haven't a taste for food anymore."

"Keylin-" Malakei begins to say but I stand up. Pushing my chair back as I do causing it to screech in the silent room. I narrow my eyes at him.

"Forgive me for not wanting to feast. I suppose the thoughts of murks attacking the Sky Lanes because of me and causing havoc on the city sours things."

I was vivid as I clenched my hands either side of me on the table into fists that shook with frustration, anger, nerves? Whatever it was. Not to mention the discovery of Raen being a Trainer. Or was a Trainer-I don't know. There's a lot of things I don't know anymore. It doesn't help that Raen sits beside me in silence. Not having said a word since the revelation as he stares down shamefully at his untouched food. I wasn't the only one who felt this way.

"Calm down." Anya sighs. Placing her cutlery down to look up at me with tight lips. "Something like this was bound to happen eventually. It doesn't matter if you did it or not. So there's no use crying over spilled milk. Or bile..whichever you prefer."

I narrow my eyes at her. Hoping they would actually turn into daggers so that I could use them to stab her.

"She's right Key." Malakei says softly and I turn my daggers on him. I notice he physically flinches.

"Just sit down okay? If you want to talk about it, we can."

"I don't want to talk about it." I croak out, turning my head to the side.

"I want to write my wrongs. Clean up my mess. I want to put an end to this pain and fear once and for all."

I was breathless. Words tumbling out of my mouth that I didn't realise would affect me so much. Voicing my thoughts took a lot out of me but I finally knew what I wanted to do.

"I'm going to kill Max." I state with determination.

Anya lets her fork slip from her grip at the same time Malakei blinks up at me fearful. A 'what?' coming from his lips.

I open my mouth to speak again but this time nothing comes out. As if the words were stuck in my throat. I close my mouth and swallow them back down. I feel Raen's hand touch my wrist and I turn to look down at him. Eyes somewhere else instead of looking up at me.