midwife » michael gray. [completed]

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN.

  → CHAPTER SEVENTEEN; FATHER HUGHES.

( trigger warning - child neglect )

Forgetting what she had seen was hard for Hannah who was constantly replaying the fatal moment in her head, repeatedly. She was tainted, her memories ruined for life and with every little bang, Hannah would fear that someone else would be shot. This was the life that Hannah was chasing after; one full of unhappiness, demise and sorrow but it was part of the package, she couldn't have Michael without having the risk of something appalling happening to her. Was it a risk she was willing to take? Hannah had thought long and hard about the question, sometimes it kept her awake at night, and in the end, she always decided that it was worth it. Michael was the man that she loved and could possibly see her future with - that's if they had one.

"Are you alright?"

Hannah was in her own little world as she sat on the bed clutching onto her work uniform, so far past reality that she hadn't heard a word of Alexandra's rant as she discussed the ins and out of working at the hospital. Hannah blinked a few times before smiling softly.

"I'm so sorry, I wasn't listening," Hannah admitted as she looked down at the floor. "But yes, I am fine. Thank you for asking."

"Clearly not," Alexandra scoffed as she placed one of the books down on the writing desk and turned around to look at Hannah with a concerned expression - one that Hannah had seen far too many times since the death of Grace – even Sister Maria had been compassionate and kept the digs hushed. "Why don't you talk to one of us about it? I'm sure you would feel better..."

"There's nothing to discuss, it's just one of those things that happen." Hannah stood up and smiled graciously at Alexandra before gesturing over to the hallway. "I need to get ready for work otherwise Sister Maria will have me cleaning all the equipment tonight and I haven't got the time to do that."

Alexandra chuckled. "We don't want that now, do we? She's already on your case because you slept in the other day."

"Don't remind me," Hannah groaned as she recalled the telling off that she received from Sister Maria - it had a good ten minutes as she moaned about time management, and constant sly remarks were made throughout the day. "I'll see you at breakfast."

Alexandra quickly shook her head. "Not if Jodie is making it," she joked before turning back around to continue reading her book.

Hannah quickly walked down the hallway, not allowing the tears to fall once until the door was locked and she was met with silence. The mornings were the worst as Hannah would wake up and remember that Tommy was going to be waking up at the same time, if he had slept, to an empty bed and a lonely home that wasn't lived in. The house was simply bricks that held memories of when Tommy Shelby was happy with his son and wife.

+++

Seeing Arthur Shelby on the convent doorsteps was an odd sight but she could see the clear panic in his eyes as he frantically tried to say the words that he had been keeping to himself since he had first learned about Linda's condition. Arthur was over the moon, but he was also a nervous wreck, he struggled to look after himself some days, let alone a baby.

"Linda is pregnant."

Hannah was taken back for a moment as the words he spoke bellowed from his mouth with happiness, but her lips soon twisted into a wide smile - the first honest smile since Grace's passing. Hannah instantly congratulated Arthur as she pulled him in for a long hug, swaying from side to side with cheerfulness.

"When did you find out?" she asked, her voice laced with delight.

"This morning," he answered., his smile mirroring Hannah's. "We haven't told everyone yet. I just wanted to know some details, if that's alright?" Hannah nodded at his question. "Right, I want you to be Linda's midwife because you are one of the fucking best according to Esme and you made her feel really calm during labour and anyway, where do we sign up?"