How to Break a Heart (To be published by LIB)

Thirty-Five

Allie

Hinampas ako ni Frannie ng unan sa mukha. I even yelled ouch lots of time but I guess it wasn’t enough to stop her dahil hinampas niya ulit ako. Pinaulunan niya ako ng palo ng unan hanggang sa wala na lang akong ibang nagawa kundi tanggapin ang bawat pambubugbog niya sa akin.

“You idiot! Akala ko wala ka nang itatanga pa, but you proved me wrong!” hinampas pa rin niya ako at napasimangot naman ako. Nagsisimula na akong mainis but I figured that maybe I deserve to be hit, and being hit wih a pillow is just plain nice.

“Just in case you didn’t hear me say it, you’re an idiot.” sabi nito at matapos ay tinapunan ako ng unan bago tumigil. Siguro ay hiningal na siya sa kakahampas sa akin.

“Bakit mo ako pinaghahampas ng unan?” bigla ulit lumitaw ang pagkainis mula sa mukha ni Frannie at hinampas ulit ako ng unan na malapit sa kanya.

“Aray!” I frowned at her.

“You just told me that you rejected Arron when he cried and confessed his feelings just recently, at pagkatapos itinatanong mo pa sa akin kung bakit hinahampas kita ng unan? If you weren’t my cousin, I would have smashed your face on the wall. You’re that frustrating, Allie!”

“Para saan pa kasi kung tatanggapin ko iyon? Mamamatay na ako, Frannie. What good will it do?” mas lalong naging irritable si Frannie sa akin. Kung hindi siya seryoso at kung hindi lang ako depressed ay baka natawa na ako sa itsura niya.

“What good it will do? You’re seriously asking me that question? Fine, sasagutin ko. It will make you two, happy! You will die a happy girl! Who doesn’t want to die happy? Obviously, ikaw. Grabe, Allie. You’re annoying me more than usual!”

“You call that good? I’ll die a selfish girl. I’ll be happy, he’ll be happy for a short span of his life–pagkatapos ano? I’ll leave him and he’ll be left with nothing but grief. He’ll be left with heartache and sorrow once that I’m gone, and why is that? Because I allowed us both to taste something that we both know we could never have!

“Oo na, mahal namin ang isa’t isa pero hindi naman lahat ng nagmamahalan, nagkakatuluyan in the end. It’s obviously not meant to be. Hindi naman dapat ipilit ang bagay na hindi na pwede. Masasaktan lang kami pareho.”

“Ay ang tanga talaga!” sigaw nito na parang hindi man lang narinig ang mahabang speech ko.

“If you’re going to remind me how stupid I am, I’d prefer you to just leave. I’d rather mourn alone than to constantly hear you harass me about it.”

And she did left. Sabi niya ay hindi niya daw kayang i-handle ang pagkainis niya sa akin. Baka daw mas lalong mapaaga ang taning ng buhay ko sa malalagim na bagay na naiisip niya.

Katulad ng sinabi ko, I allowed myself to wallow myself in misery until I fell asleep that night. Thinking of what I couldn’t have, craving for something that was never meant for me. No, I didn’t cry but I felt the emptiness inside my chest. It was hollow, I had no choice but to feel empty.