"Please Don't Go."(Levi X reader)

Chapter Eighteen

Bed rest again. Great. I don't want to stay here. I would much rather be training! Currently, Levi went to go get me breakfast which was kind of him, but he would be leaving today so I was upset about that. But, I knew he and I would meet again, on top of that he and I would maybe see each other due to "commander-y type things," or I guess in his case Corporal duties. He also said that we would write to each other. Honestly, thinking about it sadden me. I didn't want my friend to leave. Yes, he and I didn't have much conversation, we didn't know each other. 

I heard a knock on the door. I told the person to enter, and of course it was Levi with my breakfast. I shifted myself up, and sat up. I gently took the tray, and placed it on my lap. I poked and prodded at my food, not wanting to eat it. The worry of losing Levi was bothersome. The lose of Farlan and Isabel had also definitely taken it's toll on both of us. Levi claimed that he wasn't going to regret, and I feel that's okay. But not to morn over their death? That also seems to be a confusing part to me.

"Aren't you going to eat?" A cold, harsh voice said. I was taken aback suddenly, and looked up. There must have been a sign of shock on my face as Levi has taken notice of this. As much as I wanted to say: "Oh yeah! I want to eat!" I couldn't bring myself to do it. It would be lying right? I wasn't hungry. I have lost my appetite. "Eat brat, you didn't have anything to eat last night."

The snarky remark also took me by surprise. Why am I fussing over eat? What is so back about it? Just eat to make him happy, or what ever emotion he shows. I finally took a small bite of the meal. I didn't pay any mind to Levi, but I saw his eyes slightly lighten up. That made me happier to know that me eating makes him lighten up. As I finish what I can, I look up to Levi.

"So, today's your last day here?" I ask, trying to hide the sorrow in my voice. I quietly waited for a response, and watched as he sighed contently.

"Yeah it is." He opened his eyes, "I'll be back when you graduate. In what? Two years? Not even, you are almost done with this one right?"

I nodded my head, wincing at it. It made me dizzy, and nauseous. I pushed my tray away, and grabbed my head trying to steady myself. I heard footsteps and a hand was suddenly in y line of vision. It held two pills. I looked up and took them. I smiled at him mumbled, "Thank you," and quickly took them. 

"Levi?" I say looking up. I sighed holding the cup. "I'm scared." I say. Levi questioned why with a hum of his voice. "What if I don't ever see you again? Or my parents? What if my quest to see them again is a complete fluke? What if I fail? Oh dear Wall Maria! What if I don't even get into the top ten?!" I felt like a huge baby because I started to panic. I was screaming, "PATHETIC" to myseslf. At this time I felt so vunerable. Worst part is  I thought maybe Levi would say some great woulds of encouragement but he didn't. He replied with,"All you have to do is survive. You'll be fine." 

What does that mean? What type of advice is that? Well he wouldn't know. He didn't go through the hard prosedures to become a soldier like everyone else had. He was granted to join, and he got to train along side with everyone else! He was granted with some sort of power that no one else possess! I don't find this fair. I must calm myself, all this thought is going to actually kill me. 

"I understand that you are scared for whats next. So was I when they were killed. I went full rage mode of that hell born creature. The son of a bitch got what he deserved. Then I blamemd it on Erwin. I figured blaming people wasn't going to get me anywhere. But if I would've considered my options who know what man I would be today! So, I guess if you aren't given exactly what you want in life take what you think will suit you best. Even if that's the worst of options. Now, I have to get going. I'll ensure to write to yo to ease your mind, okay? Don't worry so much. You will know whats right when the time comes. Don't do what your gut says to do. Do what YOU  want to do. One wrong choice and it might ruin everything, but with that it may open a new door." Finally he exited the room. I wanted to burst up and run after him, but I couldn't. This time I was going to actually listen. I wasn't going to cheat myself.