Chapter Twenty-Seven

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Chapter Song: For A Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic-Paramore

3 MONTHS LATER

Andy

"Hey Andy, wanna go get some ice cream?" My friend Ashley asks me. I was currently in the study lounge at the college I now attend. I nod and follow her and a few of my friends out the door.

After I ran and cried to my mom, she helped me get my life together. Literally. We figured out that I could still get into the college I am in now, all I had to do was write an essay. The college was a community college, which means it was close in town to my apartment, so I didn't need a dorm room. It wasn't the best college or one of my dream colleges but it would help me get the degree I wanted.

I was now 2 1/2 months in and I loved it. I had made so many new friends, like Ashley, the one who asked me to get ice cream. I also had loved studying literature and creative writing, which were the main classes I am attending. I still go home every night and sleep in my apartment, also a plus.

My mom is paying for my expenses, because she said she 'owed it to me'. Our relationship was almost normal, but honestly I wouldn't know what normal was for us. I finally was able to look at her and not remember all the times she had left me in the past. I would say we were improving.

Everything in my life was going great for once. I felt like I was content, and looking back at the past months, I would say I am doing so much better. I was almost happy. Almost.

I could say that everything was perfect and I had everything I wanted but I would be lying. Because in all honesty, there wasn't a day that went by that I did not think of Luke. I played it off really well when my mom asked me about him. I guess I was just good at hiding emotion.

There wasn't one text shared between the two of us in the past months, nothing. No calls, no sappy letters. Sometimes I would stare at my phone and wonder when he would text me, but then I would think about how stupid I was. I would then stop feeling sorry for myself, because it wasn't worth it. I would never text him first because I have a fear of rejection. Something also tells me this is what he wanted.

He wanted us to be broken up, or not together, whatever you want to call it. He would always say "I'm just going to fuck something up," which he did. He fucked up my heart, and I never even told him I loved him. I have thought that maybe if I did tell him that he would have not let me go, or maybe he would had laughed. There was really no way of knowing.

My contact with Riley had been minimal, just because we both got busy, she got a job, and was planning on moving in with Ashton at some point and I had school. Not talking to her was hard because she was my rock, but maybe it was good. It was good because I know I would ask her constantly if Ashton had been with Luke. And then everyone would get annoyed.

So other than Luke being on my mind all the time, I had made some new friends. Something the old Andy would have never been able to do. They were all really nice, I had met Ashley on my first day, in our literature class. We became friends and she so kindly introduced me to her friends.

So now here we are at the ice cream shop, one of the best ones in town. I always got a vanilla malt and we all sat in the same booth everytime we came here. There was 5 of us all together, Ashley, Gage, Oliver, Layla and I. When I first met Gage he was wearing the tightest red skinny jeans, and the cutest shirt I had ever seen, he complimented my hair and how amazing the color went with my eyes. He was gay. And he would tell anyone, anywhere at anytime, he was very proud.

I had loved him from the start, just from his amazing attitude towards life. Layla was a short blonde sassy girl, she and I didn't get off on the greatest foot but it was getting better. Oliver was a dark haired boy, he was sort of reserved and only talked when he felt comfortable, I found it cute. And Ashley was a tall and very loud, her laugh was the funniest thing. We were an odd group.

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