Adore [H.S.]

11

Boyfriend - Justin Bieber (Acoustic) 

ISABELLA

With each day that passed, I fell in love with London. The sights, the smells, the people, the accents - everything that surrounded me was full of beauty and culture. It was such a huge difference from the life that I was living in Manhattan. 

People say that change can be good. I couldn't agree with them more! 

Change was scary. It was absolutely terrifying. The move was so big that I truly didn't think that it was going to be good for me. But the more that I live here, the more certain I become that this was the right choice that I made. It also helps to live with the best roommate in the world. 

Every day, Jaz proves to me that she was actually an angel sent from above to watch over me. I don't know where she came from, but she was everything that I needed and would want in a roommate. Or, in her words, a flat mate. British terms still confuse me, but I absolutely love it. Ben is also great. They have proven to me that relationships are special. That they are to be cherished and admired. I always hated the idea of relationships, but was always open to the idea of having a boyfriend. It didn't really make sense, but I always thought that having a man to hold your shopping bags for you when they grow too heavy, or to tell you that you're pretty when you are feeling down, or to just snuggle and watch movies with, sounded great. 

Ty was never my boyfriend. He was a guy that I slept with. Alright. That sounded terrible. He was and still is more than a guy that I would sleep with on occasion. He was and will always be my best friend. He was the closest thing to a boyfriend that I've ever had. Jimmy from the sixth grade doesn't and will never count as a boyfriend. However, with each day that passes (and am exposed to Jaz and Ben's relationship), I begin to crave for someone. I crave for that man who I can call my own. To give my heart too. To be vulnerable with. To love. The only thing was to find, or rather, have find me, a man that will want to be that to me. 

Boyfriends are hard to come by. Let me tell you. 

But as I sit here in Brerin's, eating my second piece of strawberry pie, I am bombarded by thoughts of a curly haired man with the most breathtaking set of green eyes. Yet I know in my heart that he doesn't want to be with me. He has made that clear. Over the past two weeks, Harry has ignored me. Yes, he still comes to the bookstore, but he doesn't talk to me. Ever since that day he came in and confronted me, he has been weird. He doesn't talk to me, only short answers when I ask him something. Whenever I look at him, or catch him staring at me, he looks away quickly. His eyes get covered by a cloud of pure frustration and irritation. I don't know what I did for him to feel this way, but it is so obvious that he doesn't like me that way. 

I guess it's good that I didn't like him like that either. Even though his mind is the most beautiful and fascinating thing that I have ever come across. Even though I could look at him every moment of every day and not find one single flaw. Even though, even fucking though, I can feel my insides warm and crave for his body whenever I hear him talk (with that panty dropping smirk and sexy accent). God, imagine him bending you over the bookcase and - I quickly shake the thought off and scold my subconscious for even thinking it. 

Harry is all sorts of wrong for me. He's an asshole, a sarcastic twit, and dangerous. Oh please, when did that ever stop you before. Besides, he's not an asshole to you. My subconscious and her big mouth. I ignore her, even though she has a point. 

Then there's Chase. 

Chase with his blonde locks and piercing blue eyes. That accent that makes my heart flutter because it's just so damn cute. He was kind and funny. He came from a nice wealthy family. He was the perfect guy - a guy that my parents would absolutely fall for. Red flag, Izzy! Your parents would absolutely love him. We don't want him. But he was the sweetest guy that I have ever met. I also knew that he liked me. He was so blatantly obvious.