Suicide Helpline

2 | d a y s | l e f t

I decided that Eddie was a special bean and needed his own character. He's now been added to the cast list as well but here's who he's played by (you can imagine him as whoever you want) and his aesthetic :)

Eddie Price

-Portrayed by Diego Barrueco

"Hey Lost Boy,

This isn't Cleo. Although, I'm guessing you already gathered that from my not-so-feminine voice. You don't know me and, in all honesty, I don't really know you either. I only know a couple of things about you. One of these things is that you're suicidal.

For me that's enough to get a phone-call from the great Eddie Price.

So...I guess I should introduce myself. I'm Eddie and I would prefer it if you continued to breathe and, judging by the sobs coming from the bedroom across the hall, I would say that I am not alone in this opinion.

I should also warn you that I am not one to beat around the bush.

Look darlin', I know how hard it is going to be to stop you from committing that final blow. I...I know the feeling of wanting to end yourself because you feel like there is no other possible option. I know that it works differently for each person but...I do understand what you're going through. To some extent.

Around two years ago I was...not exactly in the best state. I didn't really have a reason to be. On paper, I was fine, good even. I came from a reasonably well-off family who I mainly got along with. I was in my last year of college and looking forward to university next year and...I was generally succeeding in life. My grades were good. I had a good group of friends, a secure place on the basketball team and parents who loved me enough to come and watch every single one of my basketball games, even if they were halfway across the country. I was reasonably well liked by my peers. I had an art for making people laugh. I was kind of known as the guy who was easy to talk to, always smiling and joking wherever I went.

I guess I must have lost myself inside of my own smile because the dark thoughts were there before I could stop them. I didn't have a reason to be that way. Nothing bad had happened. There was no tragic accident that changed my life. I just suddenly found that everything was dragging me down. The negatives were beginning to outweigh the positives because they were the only thing I could think of.

Instead of a happy family, I saw my family as one where we were nothing but civil, avoiding each other to reduce any form of contact that could possibly cause an argument. I saw that I was good at everything. Basketball, grades, friendship groups. It was all good. Just good. Not brilliant. Not exceptional. Just good. I was frighteningly average and it terrified me. I kept smiling and joking but I had never felt more out of place in my life.

Then the really dark thoughts came. Suicidal, to be exact. I felt so out of place that I felt I had no place at all. I was walking through life with wool over my eyes, standing in a room without truly being there. I was slipping. Big time.

I tried to find solutions online but all that came up were helpline numbers and recommendations for mental wards. But...it didn't feel right. A mental ward was basically a cage. A containing space for people until they were no longer a threat to themselves or anyone around them.

So I continued to fall, silently, I wasn't entirely sure what was keeping my mouth shut but...there was definitely something. For some absurd reason, I found that I couldn't tell anyone what I was feeling. It just seemed impossible. Every time I attempted to, out came a joke again. Perhaps it was that...I thought no one would believe me. I don't know. But, for whatever reason, I didn't tell anyone.

Before I knew it college was done and I was plunged into the summer break with only a month before university. I don't know what happened but at some point, I decided that I'd had enough. I started to search inside myself, finding a part that wasn't average.

I'm not going to lie; I've never gotten over it. But...then again, I don't think anyone ever does. It's always with you, a part of you and a contributor to who you are. I still have those thoughts but...I think everyone does. Everyone has dark thoughts but it's only a select few who act on them.

Turns out I was gay. I went through hell for it for a while but it was a whole lot better than lying to myself. I found a guy that I fell in love with. I found myself over the course of the year and I ended up being a whole lot happier for it.

I don't know why I'm telling you all this but maybe...perhaps it might help to know that you're not alone because...you're not."