How to Break a Heart (To be published by LIB)

Thirty-Eight

Allie

Hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin ako tinitigilan ni Arron. It’s been three days since he started pestering me again. We were back to normal. I know I’m acting like I’m all pissed and not happy about it but what I’m truly feeling is quite the opposite.

Masaya ako na magkasama na ulit kaming dalawa at bumalik ulit sa dati ang pagsasamahan namin. I love spending time with him and as the time passes, I was starting to forget seeing reason. Nawawala na yung gusto kong mangyari na putulin ang dapat putulin para wala nang masaktan ng husto.

I know I was being selfish pero parang nakakalimutan ko ang ibang mga bagay kapag kasama ko si Arron. When I’m with him, I forget about what happened yesterday. I forget about what will happen tomorrow. I forget to worry about what will happen to us in the future. May mga oras na nagigising ako sa panaginip kaya madalas pa rin na sinusungitan ko siya pero nagagawa niya pa rin akong bolahin at pakiutin.

“Exams na bukas, sabay tayong mag-review ha?”

I shrugged at him. “I’m not going to study.”

“Why not?” kunot noong tanong niya sa akin.

“It’s not like I need to pass anything. Malapit naman na–” mabilis na tinakpan ni Arron ang bibig ko. His playfulness disappeared and I was welcomed by a pissed off Arron.

“I told you to quit talking about it like it was nothing.” hindi na ako kumibo, useless rin naman iyon dahil nakatakip ang kamay niya sa bibig ko. Ayaw na ayaw ni Arron na nagsasalita ako tungkol sa taning ng buhay ko. He wasn’t trying to be in denial about it but I know he’s trying to ignore the truth. Hindi niya pa rin iyon matanggap kaya ayaw niyang pinag-uusapan namin ang tungkol sa bagay na iyon.

“Are you still going to talk about it?” taas kilay na tanong nito sa akin at umiling-iling naman ako.

“Do you promise?” tumango agad ako sa tanong niya at binitawan niya ang hawak niya sa labi ko. He brightly beamed at me and I wiped my lips with my hand. Mabango at malambot ang kamay ni Arron, yes. Pero who knows kung saan siya huling humahawak diba!

“You’re very… very–” naghahanap pa ako ng adjective na suitable sa kanya. He was supposed to get pissed pero parang mas lalo pa siyang natuwa. Ang tigas talaga ng mukha ng isang ito.

“Very what?”

“Annoying!” sigaw ko dito.

“Okay lang, mahal mo naman.” he shrugged and I gasped.

“Wala akong sinasabi!” I shouted.

“Wala akong sinabi na sinabi mo.” casual na sagot ni Arron.

“Then why are you suggesting that… that..” hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili kong mamula. Bakit ba nahihiya akong sabihin iyon!