After the jokers offer to let you join them on tour, nothing can go wrong right? Travelling around America in 2 months seems like the road trip of a lifetime.
But no one tells you about the late nights, early rises and strict rules. The screaming f...
We swaggered to the back of the arena with a large sense of confidence. We had already done this several times- unloading, loading, makeup, food, show time, meeting fans. I just couldn't understand how the guys weren't exhausted already. They usually go to sleep at around 3am, wake up at 7 and begin the day again.
The producers ushered us forward to the small metal door as a small gathering of fans ran towards us.
"Oh god," Sal said, pulling his cap over his face.
"Don't worry," Murr sighed. This was the hundredth time he'd said that this week. Sal panicking, Murr trying to diffuse the situation.
One of the producers with long dreadlocks forced the door open and waited impatiently as we rushed through. The producers had switched my large camera to a smaller hand-held portable one I could drag behind the scenes.
"I was thinking," Murr said to me, "like, you film parts of the show. Like when we're throwing confetti near the end. We also have the camera from yesterday wired up to the screen so the audience will get an early look at what's going to be shown."
"It sounds amazing!" I gasped, switching on the camera.
I allowed all four guys to walk ahead, then I filmed them with their backpacks hiking up the metal staircase. Then I filmed them backstage. Sal was lagging behind. "Hey, Sal, just pose here quickly."
I instructed him to point towards the dressing room. 'IMPRACTICAL JOKERS' it said in huge block lettering. Sal smiled giddily beside it.
"We don't usually get good dressing rooms. We have a big one this time around- so we put a tick next to their name. We're coming back here."
I laughed inaudibly and shut off the camera.
Inside the dressing room was a large couch beside the door, a desk, a chair and a big mirror.
"This is a dressing room?" I scowled, looking for a secret door or something exciting.
"This is it," Joe said, falling onto the leather sofa. "Usually it's a room the size of that desk. So this is pretty much a luxury."
A large team of makeup artists fluttered in to provide a small layer of stage makeup. This was only so 'their faces won't appear sweaty or shiny.'
"No amount of makeup can save me," Joe joked, swatting away a makeup brush. It was so odd to watch middle aged men having makeup put on.
10 minutes later and the guys were due on stage. Makeup- check. Sound check- check. Audience arrived- check.
"Good luck guys," Sal said, then bro hugged Q.
"Good luck," I whispered to Sal as he was the first to run on stage.
I filmed.
I filmed as Sal ran on stage. I filmed as Q ran on stage. And joe, and Murr.
I filmed when Q got down on both knees pretending to pray for forgiveness. I filmed when the guys attempted a human pyramid. I filmed when the guys threw confetti and clothes out of a cannon, when they danced, when they jumped on each other's backs and raced.
It was a wild night. A completely different story line, completely different jokes, anecdotes and games.
But it was amazing.
Better than last night. But last nights was incredible. What's better than incredible? Life changing.
Epic.
The sweat over the guys after the hour didn't stop their energy. They were still striding around the stage, yelling, laughing, joking. Their voices projected to the back row. Every one of the 10,000 audience could hear perfectly.
It was amazing.
"We want to thank you so much for coming out here tonight," Joe wrapped up, waving goodbye after their last punch line. The audience roared with celebration as the guys waved goodbye. Many close faces on the front row had tears streaming down their face. The guys had left the stage. Now reality hit again- an hour of entertainment. For an hour, your worries were left at the door. Now, you had to collect all your worries, fears, sadness and go home.
Not for me.
I still had less than a month of tour life.
•••
"Are we going out for dinner tonight?" I asked Murr as we left the arena.
"No, the tour managers have gotten really strict. We have to go straight to the new destination. Wherever that is. I'm exhausted, sorry. We're not allowed to leave this bus for fans or food." Murr sighed.
"Oh," was all I can muster up. That was it? "We're just stuck in this van now? All night? What food do we have in the fridge?"
"Uhh," Murr raced up the bus steps and investigated the refrigerator. "Some fruits for Sal's smoothies and some orange juice."
"Wow," I said. "Looks like we'll have a big breakfast tomorrow."
"If we don't starve by then," Murr joked.
"Who's dying?" Joe asked.
"All of us. There's no food left." Murr replied hesitantly. "You haven't... eaten what was left?"
Joe went silent. "I mean... I had three leftover pizza slices just before we left the bus earlier..."
"Joe!" Sal moaned from his bunk bed, "we could've all shared it!" Sal made himself visible as we faced the fridge. "I can make a smoothie if you want?"
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