My Injuries, Your Injuries (Completed)

Chapter 10

He looks down at his arm, looking like he really doesn't want to tell me. I'm not going to tell him that I'm sorry for prying because I want to pry, I know it's rude. I want to get into his personal life, get into his thoughts, everything, the whole nine yards.

"Um... can we please not talk about this?" He asks quietly, practically whispering.

"No," I say almost immediately, "I know this is rude, invading, prying, but I want to make it up to you. I want to help you quit and in order for me to do that... well, I need to know you." I sit up more, confidence flowing through me. I'm confident I can help him quit this addiction.

"I'd rather not tell you about myself, it's boring and I just... I don't want you to know," he replies, still quiet. This is a major contradiction to what I saw earlier.

"Please, Gerard, I want to help you."

"What if I don't want help?" He asks, sounding, well, sounding harsh. "What if I don't feel like I'm ready to quit? What if I like doing this?"

"You can't," I whisper, "how could you like doing something like that? And with the knowledge that it hurts another person?"

"So, what? That's what this is? You want to make me quit so you won't have to deal with it? Well, what about me, Frank? It hurts me, too. I'm the one who has to go through my day regretting all this shit, thinking back to the night before when I stayed up bawling my eyes out and dragging a blade across my arm. What do you have to do? Just sit there and wonder, which do you think is worse? At least you don't have to sit there and hate yourself. I do. I have it worse! You're just a selfish, stuck up, snobby rich kid going to some private catholic school, what's your worries in life, huh? Sinning? That's hardly anything! I have to worry about whether or not I'm going to get the shit beat out of me again! I have to worry about college, about money, about keeping a job. Your life is so great compared to mine and all you do is complain about shit." He finishes his rant, his breathing is shaky and heavy.

"I'm not a stuck up rich kid, Gerard," I say quietly, a major difference to his continually rising voice. "I don't only complain, I actually did not offer to help you quit only so I wouldn't have to deal with it anymore. I offered because I genuinely wanted to help you, I felt horrible for yelling at you for something that's basically out of your control. I'm sorry I gave you that impression about, I'm gonna go," I say quickly and quietly, getting up and hurrying out before he could yell at me again.

I go down the stairs and decide that I could just hang out with Mikey for a little bit longer, not really wanting to go home yet.

"So, I take it apologizing didn't go well," Mikey states, obviously having heard Gerard's yelling.

"Well... I don't think it went that bad at first, but I didn't feel accomplished just apologizing for acting like that, I wanted to help him as my apology. I told him that I want to help him quit, but he took offense to it and started yelling at me. He insulted me and accused me of wanting to help him quit just so I wouldn't have to deal with it anymore. Honestly, that was not my intentions... I just kind of thought he'd, y'know, want to quit," I explain, feeling a little mad because he just up and accused me of all this shit without letting me really explain myself.

"I don't know who I think the bigger dick is, you or Gerard," Mikey say afterwards, a chuckle following.

I sigh, "Both." I'm not going to be a child about it, I'm not going to just say that Gerard is the bigger dick all because he made me mad. I know that I definitely crossed a line and that I insulted him. I'm also a dick, a big one at that. But so is Gerard.

Mikey inhales deeply and sighs, "I wish he would've accepted your offer though... I really do wish he would quit."

"Me too," I reply. I know I told Gerard that I didn't ask to help just so I wouldn't have to deal with it, I kind if do want him to quit so I don't have to. But that isn't my main reason. I truly do want to help him. I'm not someone who only thinks of themselves, I want him to quit for him, not me.

We fall into silence for a little bit, not knowing what to talk about. Suddenly my phone starts vibrating in my pocket. "Hello?" I ask after digging it out of my pocket and pressing the answer key.

"Frank, do you think you could stay the night at Mikey's house tonight?" Mom asks, sounding frustrated and hopeful.

"Um... why?"

"Your father and I have to work late tonight," she answers quickly, sounding in a hurry.

"Mom, I'm seventeen, I can take care of myself," I respond, a but annoyed that she doesn't think I can manage on my own.

"Okay," she sighs, "just don't break my house or something," she says and hangs up.

"I love you, too, Mother," I grumble after locking my phone.

"What was that about?" Mikey asks.

"Oh, Mom and Dad have to work late tonight and for some reason she thinks I can't take care of myself," I say, exaggerating my annoyance.

"Bummer."

"I'm just gonna go home," I mumble, getting up and heading towards the door.

*~*

I walk into school this morning feeling like such shit, I feel horrible about yesterday and I wish I could redo my actions.

Another way to make me feel like shit this morning, Jamia makes her way up to me. She wasn't here yesterday, which was the highlight of my day. She's going to run her mouth about one of two things: about how much she thinks I miss her or about something she needs to keep he nose out of, possibly both.

"Hey, Frankie!" Jamia basically squeals at me and runs to greet me with a hug. She wraps her arms around my torso and squeezes the day lights out of me, jeez. For such a small person she's kind of strong.

After basically prying her off of me, she lets go and sticks to following me to my first class and blabbing away. "So, I heard you tried to commit suicide, I bet it was because you miss me so much you couldn't handle it anymore, am I right?" She nudges my arm with her elbow.

What she said just ignited some spark in me, instantly pissed me off. I shove her against a locker and get right in her face, "You don't know anything, Jamia! You don't know what happened and why, nobody does! Keep your fucking nose out of my fucking business and go find another guy to masturbate to, got it?!" I shove myself away from her and stomp off to my class, preparing myself for the trip to the principals office that's sure to come by next hour.