My Love is a Star (BTS Suga Fanfiction)

46. Comparison

The moulding stage.

You have your own expectations from an ideal partner. And in this stage, both of you try hard to mould each other to fit your own wants in a perfect partner. This stage is a lot about give and take, and both partners constantly try to subtly convince each other to change their behavior towards the relationship. This is a power struggle, and one that can end the relationship if both partners are domineering.

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ROZIE'S POV

"I'm with someone Zach," I said as I turned my face away. I couldn't look at him but I could feel him back up a little.

"I met him in Seoul. We've got something going on for some time now."

He shifted in his seat and turned towards the steering wheel. His hands were tightly gripping the sides of it. I feel really scared right now. I didn't know how he was going to take all this but I have to keep going.

"I'm sorry.."

"You lied to me.." The smile on his face was frightening me even more.

"I-I didn't...I just didn't tell you."

"What's the difference??!!" He slammed his hand on the steering wheel making me jump on my seat.

"I didn't want to hurt you.."

"So you chose to keep it from me and lie to my face every single day... You ended hurting me anyway." I could see tears filling his eyes but he instantly avoided my gaze.

I don't know what to do. I knew he was hurting but I am hurting too. He was taking in deep breaths. I knew he was struggling to keep it all in and I wanted to comfort him. But how? I feel like crap. All I wanted was to take back everything I said and.. and what? Keep on lying to him?
The truth's out in the open. That's still something to be thankful for. He just needs to get a grip and move on. Everybody will have to move on at some point.

I reached out for his arm, hoping somehow I could ease the pain just a little.

"Just get out of the car." He said in a very stern voice.

"Zach.."

"Please. While I still have my manners." He said without even looking at me. Knowing him, staying would not be a good idea. I opened the door and took one last glance at him. The muscles in his jaw were tensed. His grip on the wheel got even tighter. The moment I closed the door, he drove the car at full speed.

I suddenly feel tears falling down my cheeks. I held on to the bunny he gave me and tucked it in between my arms as I see him drive away.

If I did the right thing, why does it feel so wrong?

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I tossed and turned in bed for hours. Zach has refused to reply to my messages and Yoongi still hasn't communicated. This was one of the times I needed him the most and he was nowhere.

Of course, there is no way I'll be telling him about Zach, or I would end up losing him as well. Just the feeling of hearing his voice as we talk about anything will help me take my mind off of Zach.

"Babe. I haven't heard from you all day. I badly need to talk."

I looked at the message I sent hours ago. Just like the rest of my calls, this one didn't seem to deserve a reply. I wrestled with the pillow as I try to project my frustration with this whole situation I got myself into.