To Be A Killer

Chapter 41: Light Up The Sky

I'm shivering. I clench my fists to keep them from shaking, but it's no good. The cold November air is too much, and yet still I don't move from where I sit on the bench. My teeth are chattering and my flesh is covered in goosebumps, but here I have solitude, at least for a few minutes.

I glance back down at my Bible, and I sigh, noticing the white puff of air that comes from my mouth. It's been awhile since I've read my Bible-weeks. So I came here to make sure I got a few chapters in.

So here I sit, in the worship area. Janine had it set up for anyone who wanted to worship. I like to come alone, since while there are quite a few Christians in the township, not many are Baptists. Not that I mind, because we do believe in the same God, but some believe in things that contradict the Bible, or they use a different one than the King James Version.

I already have the apocalypse and my own thoughts that try to sway my beliefs, I don't need someone who is Catholic or Presbyterian or Mormon or anything else helping along with it.

That being said, I do like that there are people who believe in God. A lot of people turned their back on Him once the apocalypse started, so it's nice to know that I'm not the only one here who believes.

Although, I do wish there were more Baptists, so maybe one could be a preacher. I miss hearing preaching, and going Sunday school. I miss Junior Church, although now I would be in Teen Church... I miss it, because it helps keep me on track.

I haven't been on track lately. With everything that's been happening, I've barely had time to read my Bible, or pray. I've been working, planning, thinking. Constant thoughts are spinning through my head now that we think we know where the Laetitia Greenwald is.

How many days has it been since we made that discovery? Since I heard Maxine's voice? Four days? Five? I can't tell. I don't remember. All the days are blurring together. I haven't even talked to Sam and Paula about Kefilwe yet, even though I've been meaning to. I haven't done much of anything I've been meaning to. It's like my mind is becoming fried because we're trying to plan, trying to think of what to do all while still keeping the township running.

I shake my head. I came out here for some peace, and still I find myself going back to my problems, my worries.

I look up, my eyes staying trained on the night sky. It's so pretty, the stars. There are no clouds to cover it, and the moon is shining just bright enough to give me light. The lamppost set around the streets help as well.

The stars shine back down at me, and I feel small. I am small, compared to the universe that surrounds me. I'm small, weak, fragile. And yet... I'm still here. God's still... letting me be here.

For how long is the question...

I look down at my Bible, pulling my eyes away from the stars and the pictures they create up there in the night sky. It's hard sometimes, to believe the words this book says. It's hard to believe in anything good when times get tuff, when things get chaotic... and stressful.

Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tired, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him.

-James 1:12

I really hope that these times will come to an end. It's easy to read this, but so much harder to live by it.

But I guess things are getting better. We know where the Laetitia Greenwald is, but that's only one step into the plan. We have to know just how we should get inside and get our people out. We have to know who will go, how many, and what we'll do. Comansys was a large company, and even now, it has a lot of smart people. They wanted our people and I know they won't give them up easily. Every detail in the plan must be perfect, or we might not be able to get our people back.