Loved

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Author's Note: On YouTube, I'll be hosting a Q&A in a few weeks, so I thought I'd pop over here and ask if you guys have any idea for questions. 😄 Or is there anything you'd personally like to ask me?

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Elon rolled off of her and began coughing into the crook of his elbow. 

"Oh!" She sat up and crept over to him. "I'm so sorry, Elon."

He coughed a few more times before pausing to massage the front of his neck. "You're quite strong, you know."

Heat singed her cheeks. "I'm so terribly sorry. Everything was going perfectly, and then—" She gasped. "Wait, you knew that would happen. Why didn't you draw back earlier?"

"I'm afraid I became distracted. I apologize."

"And you knew that I couldn't—that we wouldn't..."

"Yes."

"Why?"

He sighed. "Because you were determined, and if you insist on it being a certain way, then I'll always honor your choices. But also because, through enduring moments like these, you'll eventually become accustomed to my touch. Healing is often a painful process."

"If this is part of the healing process, perhaps we should try again."

"Carissa..."

She laid back down. "I'll be completely still this time. I won't kick, or hit, or—"

Elon chuckled. "I don't believe bondings are meant to be still affairs, Carissa, and I don't want you to come to associate the beginning of our bondings with fear."

She sighed, her shoulders slumping. This was harder than anticipated. Yes, she'd been close to men before, but never had they cared how she felt about it. "But I have nothing—nothing­—else to give you."

"You need naught else beyond what you already have."

"What do I have?"

"Your heart."

She snorted. "I'm not sure it's worth having."

"I disagree. I've waited years for you to give yourself to me entire." He cupped her cheek, his callouses catching against her silky skin. "And I'm willing to wait longer still." Elon pulled the covers back before drawing them to her chin. "Now sleep, Carissa."

A long sigh ebbed from her lips.

"What is it?"

"There's not anything I could do for you? To make you happy?"

"You being here makes me happy."

"But is there anything else?"

The mattress sank as he settled beneath the covers next to her. "May I hold you?" When she hesitated, he asked, "I'm sorry; did I ask for too much?"

"No, for too little." She huffed. "But I'm afraid I'm not in a position to give more."

His fingers glided across her forehead, brushing her hair back. "I know."

"And yes, you may."

He draped his arm over her waist before tucking her into the curve of his body. Though she fought it, her muscles slowly tensed, until her entire body was stiff with tension. The feeling of being so close yet doing... nothing was strange. Typically, a man was close to her while using her before he finally left her alone and slept apart from her.

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