You Changed Me

6. Gone Away

Anti felt like shit.

He needed... something. He just didn't know what. He was antsy all the time, constantly pacing around or bouncing his legs. He still wasn't sure if Ethan found it annoying or endearing just yet, though he was sure to find out soon enough. Probably the former.

He sighed and ran a hand down his face, leaning his head back against the couch with a long, exasperated groan. He squeezed his eyes shut and then opened them again. Would doing that enough bring Ethan back home so the blue haired boy could talk with me and distract me from this strange unsettling feelings crap? He shook his head. Ethan was the cause of this "strange unsettling feelings crap", why would he be a good distraction from it?

He shifted and flopped over to lay on the couch with another annoyed groan. He then sat up and his eyes shifted across the room. His mismatched eyes (being alone he gave his guise a rest and even though he was finding his natural appearance worse and worse to look at and stand without some sort of negative thoughts it was much easier than holding up a guise all day) soon landed on a pile of mismatched junk papers that still needed to be moved to the recycling. Nearby said pile of papers was a cup full of pens and pencils.

He stood up and before he knew it Anti was in front of the pens and pencils, holding a sheet of paper, which was completely blank on one side, in his hands. He sighed and stared down at them. Could I really just leave like that? He thought, eyes shifting between the paper, the pens, and finally the door before repeating. He made a small frustrated noise and decided that yes, he was going to leave. He was going to write a note and then leave.

Though... he wasn't sure why he felt he needed to write a note to justify his departure...

Anti shrugged and grabbed a black pen before going back toward the couch and coffee table. He smiled and sat, placing the page on his knee and beginning to write, frowning when he realized he was very rusty. He couldn't remember how to spell some words, and his letters seemed to look wrong... He made sure to say the words aloud as he wrote them, just in case.

"Dear Ethan... no, uh... just Ethan. Ethan, I regret... regret..? I don't know how to spell that... I am sad to say... I have to leave. I don't know if I'll ever come back... hm... Thank you? Yeah, thank you for helping me and... housing? And housing me and dealing with me... uh... This is my goodbye..."

He paused before signing, wondering if he should add what he wished to add. He frowned in agitation. Why was writing a simple note so hard? He made a small sound in the back of his throat, almost a growl, before writing it down. He knew he'd end up returning and regretting if he didn't.

"I'm sorry... Jack"

Anti smiled as he wrote out the name he'd made up for Ethan. He'd grown to enjoy hearing that name- his name- fall from the blue boys lips. He frowned when he thought of Darks reaction to such a... such a human name. They weren't human, he wasn't human. Anti frowned and ripped up the note, before tossing the ripped pieces in the trash. He growled and stalked to the door.

He held himself back from looking at the room. He knew if he did he wouldn't leave. And he needed to leave. He had to. He looked down at himself and nearly face-palmed. He was wearing Ethan's clothes, the clothes the other male had found him in being dirty and in need of a wash. He clenched his eyes shut and marched to the room where he knew his clothes awaited.

He grabbed them and slipped them on as fast as he could, already feeling the need to stay. A strange feeling centering itself in his chest making him want to cry and stay and leave and beg all at the same time. He hated it.

Anti passed through the kitchen on his way out, his eyes lingering on the knives. He could take one with him, relieve some stress on his way back home... He grabbed the largest one and hoped Ethan wouldn't mind. Anti then proceeded to leave, and he didn't once look back. Or at least... not until he was out of the building, free of Ethan's home, his old hallway, free of the shaky small compartment that had to be magical in some way because it changed locations based on a button. He was out.