To Be A Killer

Chapter 43: Burn

I don't slow down until I'm through the gates, and after they've closed I head inside the medical tent. I sit down on the examination table, and I wait, hands shaking from anger and hurt and other swirling emotions that I can't yet comprehend.

God, I can't believe this. I can't believe Sam. I can't believe he'd do this, although I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. Everyone I seem to trust fully somehow finds a way to disappoint me. Can't see how I thought Sam would be any different.

Kefilwe enters the tent, and my eyes snap up to meet her. Her light blue eyes hold a certain pain, a certain hurt. She tries to hide it, but I know the look. I've worn it on my face enough times to know what it looks like on someone else's. I sigh.

"Kefilwe, I'm so-"

"Don't apologize," She interrupts. "What was said today was none of your fault. I know you asked Sam and Paula to be kind to me because I am your friend. You tried. There was nothing you could have done to make them be kind to me."

"I know... it still isn't right that you had to hear that."

"Well, what's done is done. There is nothing we can do to change it. Now, you know it's protocol. Take off your shirt, pants, shoes and socks. I need to check for bites."

I do as told, staying completely silent as she looks at my skin, searching for bites and drops of Paula's blood. She doesn't find any. I was careful, even in my fury and anger, I made sure to keep myself safe.

I stand up once she's finished, grabbing my sweaty clothes and slipping them back on. My eyes are heavy and my body aches. My skin is surprisingly warm from the after effects of my burning rage, but right now I don't care. I'm tired, and I feel disgusting. Meaning I want a shower and a nap. Maybe if I get a few hours of silence in before Sam calls, I won't completely blow up on him.

Because I'm not stupid enough to think that when I hear his voice, all that anger and hurt won't come rushing back to me. Because it will. I know it will, and I will most likely not hold back.

Not now, at least.

It should take a few hours, I think. That's how long Paula is in that plasmapheresis machine so it can clean her blood properly. Four hours every week or an hour every other day, I think is what she has to go through.

"Runner Five," Kefilwe sighs as I head for the exit. I stop and look back at her, face completely blank. "I know you're angry at Sam and Paula for what they said and did, but when you talk to Sam, please don't say anything you may regret."

"I can't promise anything," I reply, my voice flat.

"I just don't want you to lose friends over this."

"It was their decisions to be jerks to you. If that were to happen, it would be their fault, not mine." I pull my short hair out of its small ponytail, knowing I probably look terrible. "I'm going to go take a shower. You'll come get me when Sam calls in, right?"

She nods. "Of course."

Then I leave, dropping my backpack off to whoever is standing there, waiting for it. I don't really look at his face, because right now I don't really care, but I think I see whoever it is glare at me because I made him wait a few extra minutes before giving him my backpack to rummage through.

Again, though, I don't care. I don't exactly have anything worth digging through anyway, so I don't see why he's so agitated. I'm the one that has a reason to be, as does Kefilwe. But she's the better person here, and that doesn't surprise me. I don't remember the last time I swallowed my pride and was the bigger person in a situation.

I head towards the locker room where I keep a towel and a change of clothes. Lord knows I need that with how terrible these smell. Even in the cold I sweat like a pig. Although I haven't noticed much of the cold today. My mind has been on other things.