How To Be The Best Third Wheel

Original Edition - Tip 39: Act Normal When the Girl Returns

~My house, August-3 years ago~

"So, you and Eliza now, huh?" I ask awkwardly, while hanging upside down on my living room couch.

Eliza and her family had gone back to her house, leaving James and I here, while the rest of our family conversed in the backyard.

He's lying on the couch adjacent to the one that I'm hanging on, looking like he just won the lottery. He stares up at the ceiling with a carefree smile and twinkle in his eye. After what seems to be an endless daydream, he finally comes to terms with reality as I snap my fingers.

"Hello?" I say to a distracted James.

"Oh, um, yeah, yeah. What were you saying?" he asks, turning his head to look at me.

"You and Eliza are a thing now, right?"

His smile doesn't even falter as he replies. "Yeah, she's finally my girlfriend. I've had a crush on her since last year. Insane, huh?"

"Insane." I repeat, trying to mask the immature jealousy in my tone with that of an uninterested one.

"Wait...how'd you know?" he wonders. Obviously, they didn't tell me yet.

"Oh it just seemed like you guys have been more, um, friendly lately." I hesitate, wishing I'd planned my excuse earlier. "But you guys do make quite the cute couple. If you guys were book characters, I'd ship it."

Lies.

All of that. Lies.

He doesn't see through my fib, and laughs instead. "She's just amazing. For real. It's just..."

"Something about her?" I offer.

"Yeah. She's got it all. She's kind, athletic, smart, beautiful, optimistic, not to mention she can play hockey."

There it is. Hockey. Eliza loved hockey and he loved hockey and I simply couldn't watch hockey...so I'm going to die alone.

"She's quite the package." I try not to scoff as I say it. I'm trying my best to actually not be a jerk.

"Have you ever heard of those stories where people that were friends as kids, grow up and end up together?" he asks, seriousness ever so evident in his voice.

That was supposed to be us.

"Yeah, I have."

He paused for a second.

"I think that's what me and Eliza might have."

But it wasn't us.

~~~

"Oh my gosh! Hi! What are you doing here?" I exclaim, while walking up to hug her. She laughs as we embrace and the memories of our once unbreakable friendship come flooding back. I never realized how much I actually missed her.

"Well, we're actually in town for more than a bit this time." she tells me, with a mischievous smile tugging on her lips.

"And that means?"