!!TRIGGER WARNING!!
Hey stranger.
This week has been Hell. It seems like im invisible. I have to do everything, whilst she sits on her ass. and then I get in trouble. Although I should be used to it by now. It's nothing new. It feels like my family has an ongoing game of who can make Tayla cry the longest? Or, how uncomfortable can we make Tayla? I'm not sure whos winning at the moment. But the thing is, i don't think they even realise it. But i can't bring myself to tell them anything. its to uncomfortable. But i honestly feel like a baby. I'm just crying 24/7. But God, i'm so sick of acting happy and faking smiles. I just want someone to hold me when i cry, and tell me that everything will get better. Even though i know it won't. Everyday i feel like i'm lying to people. An d it hurts because these are the people im close to. And i'm so sick of pretending to be someone i'm not. But i feel like it's my own choices that have made me this way. Last night was a bad night. It was all too much. So you can probably imagine what i did. But im so upset with myself. But i'm so sick of everything, and everyone acting like they know what they're on about. I feel like i have no escape. I can't even update my other books. I feel like such a let- down. I'm just constantly crying. Its like i don't want to die, but i don't want to live, if that makes sense? I feel like a piece of gum on someone's shoe. just constantly being stepped on over and over again, with no way to escape, and its like you have to put up with me because i refuse to leave, even though you know it'd be better if i weren't there.
Damn. That makes me feel relieved. It's off my chest. although now i've probably burdened you. Crap. But, you'd be happy to know that i do have some things that make me happy. I've got friends, music and my cousin who is the light of my world. He always makes me happy. He's just got this aura around him that brings happiness. He's only little, but i honestly think, that, if he was not here, in our world, i think that i would be in a darker place then i am now.
Anyway. Im constantly wondering if its all worth it. Like, does it honesly get better. And i know your either thinking "Shes a drama Queen" or "Shes over reacting", but this is my honest truth. This is my story, and how im going to write it.
- Tayla x
YOU ARE READING
Letters To Me
Random!TRIGGER WARNING! - May contain Disturbing scenes, depending whether I decide to put them in. Started on the 13th Of October 2017. Just letters to me with all of my secrets ;) I may add a story line eventually but idk
