half/closer | GirlXGirl

half / 19

Time.

They say it's an illusion invented by humans dividing our present, past, and future. It was designed because of our need to measure the cycle of life. Who even decided that there are sixty seconds in a minute, sixty minutes in an hour, and twenty-four hours in a day?

For me, it's the concept of reality, inspiring us to live. It's a system that resides before the day you were born and preserves even after your death. It's an endless indication of beginning and end yet time itself does not have a beginning nor an end.

In summary, time does not exist.

However, perpetual change does.

Like how the petals falling off each day, the trees and flowers no longer bloom after spring, cold winds during autumn, grey sky, and harsh droplets against my glass window. Winter was coming with the dead.

Because my mind was already begging to die of boredom.

I'd been working my brain out about what I could possibly do on Wednesday of our first week of winter break. During this season, I would usually go shopping spree with my friends but it was raining outside and I was under house arrest so that wasn't really an option. I had already wrapped gifts last Monday, decorated our house with Christmas stuff yesterday, and studied all night. My parents were also on leave, making sure that I was complying with their rules but it didn't mean I was in the mood to hang out with them.

The distance between us had grown. After practically begging them again to change their mind about the future endeavor they wanted for me and then shut me down instantly by telling me that I had no say in this, I could care less anymore. I may be stubborn for neglecting their wishes but this was my life, my own journey and I was the only one who decides which path I would take no matter how thorny and bloody the road is.

And it wasn't really helping that I couldn't spend even a godly time with my girlfriend.

I sighed as I rolled on my bed, gazing up at my room ceiling. Then a blissful smile formed on my lips before I buried my head in my pillow, letting out a happy squeal. I was glad that the sound of the rain muffled my excitement or else, Mom and Dad would certainly hear me.

Khloe is officially my first girlfriend. She is my girlfriend. Khloe Summer is my girlfriend!!

I haven't felt this thrill before. I had a few relationships beforehand but I'd never experience these upbeat emotions from them. My first boyfriend was a forced relationship for the sake of wanting to follow the school social trends. He was really sweet, not to mention, popular which amplified my already-soaring reputation by fifteen percent. Or maybe he was the one whose reputation improved because you were automatically a super popular kid if you're friends with Arisa Gail Valentine. Talking about Arisa, she was the one who hooked me up with my second boy toy as she had named him for me. Not that I was actually treating him like a toy but the guy was really a cocky jerk so it was safe to say that I wasn't really into him. I would always take my relationship seriously, however, they were lacking something I couldn't figure out so I was always the one who would break up with them. If I say I was done, I really mean it. No lingering feelings and sympathy at all, knowing it was all in vain.

But enough with my previous relationship because the point is, Khloe was my first girlfriend. I never had a relationship with the same sex before so this was all new to me. I thought I was ready and my determination of knowing her feelings for me was proof of that but 'we' happened, deciding to make it official... and it gradually produced a fear within me.