4 | it's not you, it's me

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'Women are not rehabilitation centers for badly raised boys.'

-Zahra Zaraa Danejo


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RI PRIDED HERSELF IN being simultaneously incredibly smart and incredibly boring. The first for obvious reasons. Harrows wasn't an easy place to get accepted into and she had an irrationally fear that one day, she'd slip-up and get booted out. So she spent hours pouring over all her books - assigned work and further readings had become the bane of her existence.


And the second because it was paradoxically fun to do boring things. Ri enjoyed reading quietly, she loved studying by herself in the village coffee shop, every minute spent wandering around the countryside in her free time was treasured.


The contrast between her life now and how it had been was refreshing and terrifying at the same time. A strong case of imposter syndrome still washed over her whenever she attended classes or walked through the campus. She felt like maybe this was all some sort of weird fever dream and she'd wake up to find herself fifteen again, stuck in Lamford Children's Home with it's molding paint and useless care workers. Or worse, younger still and watching her Nan waste away, barely scraping by on loose change.


And so, everything that threatened her security was dealt with a swift coldness. Ri was one of the best students in her year, sometimes Minhyuk would nudge his way up to first but not for too long. He was one of the few people she hadn't made the effort to get to know. Mostly because of his usually unapproachable and distant personality, but also because Ri was certain he hated her. Or at least she had been, until yesterday.


The first time they'd met was in class and Minhyuk had sent a withering glare her way. Every time after that, it looked like something was deeply bothering him somehow. He was always scowling or frowning. Sometimes at her, sometimes at anyone who got too close.


There were a couple of students like that, with storms in their eyes and darkness in their hearts. Most had good reason to be - Ri often called Harrows a Home For Broken Kids - but some were just plain spoilt. Rich kids with everything going their way, except their grades or some other kind of academic drama that they couldn't just throw money at. 


Ri wasn't sure if she liked, or even trusted, Minhyuk. He was not yet a friend and she'd developed a sneaking suspicion that he'd also try to screw her over if she was careless. Sh adjusted the bag strap on her shoulder and looked around. 

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