Deranged (Lauren/You)

Chapter 8

After Y/N's breakdown, we had sat in the living room for what seemed like hours in total silence. Even after the first time this happened, I couldn't stop thinking about how her lips felt on my skin, and how much I wanted to be able to feel them on my own. Y/N hated herself after it happened but there was no way in hell I could be mad at her or resent her for it. I was still at a loss for how to help her get through this, but just like I had told her, I wasn't going to give up. It just meant I had to work harder than ever now that I had to prove to Y/N that I truly wanted to help her, that I wasn't here to leave her like everyone else. I thought about how my feelings had grown for the younger girl and how I so badly wanted to tell her, but it wasn't the right time yet. I didn't want to scare her away and not make any progress in what she actually needs help in.

I would have to put my feelings on the down low to make sure everything else ran smoothly, and if it did, then there was a possibility I could tell Y/N in the future. I wanted nothing more than for that day to come already. I wanted to be able to show Y/N the love I had for her, the love no one else was willing to give. I wanted to be able to kiss her and make love to her but that idea was too far fetched for what we had going on in this moment. I had to keep my hormones down so that I didn't jump her bones but I also had to make sure she was okay. She came first before my own problems, and that was how I knew that I wanted to love her. I couldn't stay away. And I didn't want to, I wanted to spend every moment by her side. That idea didn't bother me at all, I just wanted Y/N to be completely comfortable with me before I did anything further.

Y/N brought me out of my daze by stretching her legs out in front of her. Due to our position of me sitting in front of her, her legs stretched out to the side to where her body was now slightly turned. I looked up to see that she looked extremely tired, her eyes barely staying open. I smiled to myself at the sight. "Did you want to go to bed?" I asked quietly. Y/N nodded her head, allowing her eyes to stay closed. I stood up before she could fall asleep and offered her my hand. The taller girl took it and allowed me to help her into a standing position. I walked her into my room and helped her lay down on the bed before tucking her in just as a mother would do. I even went so far as to place a kiss on her forehead before going to walk out of the room. Before I could, I heard Y/N call my name from where she laid on the bed.

"Lauren?" Her voice sounded timid. I hummed and turned back around to face her, offering a smile even though she probably wouldn't be able to see it. The lights were dimmed, showing my silhouette but I wasn't sure if she was able to see my face. Either way, I hoped it would give her reassurance. "Can you uh, can you sleep with me?" I couldn't hide my shock at her question. "You don't have to of course but I just- I'd feel safer if you were here." Y/N stumbled over her words. Without giving a verbal answer, I went to turn off the rest of the lights in the house before returning to the room. Y/N was curled up but once she saw me coming back into the room, she smiled widely, trying to hide it with the blanket. I climbed into the bed next to her, turning off the lights which left us in pitch black darkness.

I didn't know if Y/N was scared of the dark or what, but she seemed very tense where she laid. I made the rash decision to scoot over and drape my arm over her stomach. I was pleased to feel that she relaxed under my touch. I moved so that I could lay my head on her shoulder and I could feel her timid hand come to rest on the small of my back. I smiled to myself and cuddled into the taller girl before closing my eyes, dreaming of a life where I would be able to spend it with Y/N by my side in normalcy. There was no one to make her life a living hell, just us two in love where Y/N was allowed to be herself.

+~+~+~+~

The aura of sweet smelling syrup and a mixture of savory sausage among other things filled my nose the next morning, coaxing me out of my sleep. I groggily looked over to the other side of the bed to see it empty. I realized that Y/N was the one cooking, sending a smile to form on my face. I threw the covers off my body and strolled into the kitchen to see Y/N moving around the kitchen like she was comfortable in her own skin for once. I leaned against the counter with my arms crossed over my chest, a smile still etched on my face. I stood there until Y/N turned a noticed me. She jumped a little in her spot but recovered quickly. I wanted to laugh at the sight but decided against it, since for some reason the taller girl didn't seem amused. "I uh, I made breakfast as a sort of an apology. I hope it's good." Y/N spoke quietly.