5 Seconds Of Summer Smut

What, No He Doesn't?

"Ayo bitches!" My friend Brittney greeted as she walked into my kitchen taking a seat at the counter on one of the stools.

"Sup hoe?" My other friend Layla greeted her as she took a bite of her sandwich.

"Not much, what's up with y/n?" Britt asked, catching my attention.

"Huh?" I asked looking up from my phone, my smile still on my face.

"She's texting Caaallllluuummmmm" Layla teased. You see, Calum is one of my best friends. We've known each other for the longest time and I just so happen to have the biggest crush on him. As much as I am in denial about it, Brit and Layla swear up and down that Calum likes me.

"Ohhhh, so she's sexting?" Brit smirked causing Layla to laugh, joining in.

"Probably so for all we know." Layla laughed more wiggling her eyebrows.

"Bitchest please, we are not. Cal doesn't even like me that way." I protested, finally putting my phone down.

"Oh honey please, we all know what he wants." Britt added with a sly look.

"Oh yeah? And what's that?" I asked waiting for her answer as she just looked me up and down giving me a smirk.

"Jeez....I wouldn't know...."

"Oh come on, what is it?" I asked completely oblivious.

"Really y/n?" She asked disappointed at the fact I wasn't getting the hint.

"Really Brittney."

"He wants to visit your gift box." She spoke like it was obvious.

"My what?"

"....You know.. He wants to Slytherin your chamber of secrets." She hint more, knowing how much of a Harry Potter fan I was but I just wasn't getting it.

"Huh?" I asked more confused

"He wants to visit you in between the holidays?"

"What?"

"....He wants to put his meatloaf into your oven..."

"My oven?"

".......His meat into your taco??"

"Da fuk?" I gave her a question look as she looked more annoyed than ever.

"Really y/n, really?" Layla finally spoke.

"He wants to put his train into your tunnel!?!" Britt spoke more, clearly fed up with me at this point.

"Tunnel?!? What the fuck? I don't have a tunnel?!?" I was so confused as Britt and Layla burst out laughing.

"Umm... Sweetie...yes...yes you do.." Layla continued to laugh, her face couldn't possibly get any more red.

"Okay.....let's try this again...He wants to put his pencil into your sharpener...."

"What??"

"Oh for fuck sakes! He wants to put his dick inside of your vagina!! He wants to have sex WITH YOU! Get it now? Bloodly hell, y/n!" She yelled out in frustration as Layla continued to laugh.

"Oh....Why didn't you just say so?" Was my final sentence that probably killed Layla as she hit the floor, laughter just consuming her.

I know this is very short but I feel truly bad for not being able to update so I wanted to do a quick one as best as I could. And just so you know, this is something that has actually happened with me and my best friend before. We were sitting at her kitchen table and I was the one giving the hints but she just wasn't catching on. Her grandmother caught on and was laughing her ass off the whole time as my best friend just looked very confused. I did say some others but it was two years ago and I can't remember all that was said. But I'd like to add, that the guy we were talking about is her fiance now. Soooooooo grandmother and I was right the whole time😏 I love ya girl, you know who you are.