22. Ten Seconds

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10 초

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10

THAT DAY WAS ONE OF THE LONGEST June had yet gone through. Each minute lasting for hours, her body trapped in a pattern of getting up to drink water and coming back to lay down again, eyes staring at the ceiling as if waiting for something to happen.

But nothing ever did.

The dishes from last night kept sitting in the sink, the same old tapping sound echoing but she doesn't bother to clean it as everything seemed to be pointless at the moment.

All the songs through her headphones sounded the same. The meaningless words from the books she tried to read seemed to dance off the pages, both her eyes and brain not being able to catch them. Once setting everything aside on the bed again, June opened her laptop, ready to watch her favorite shows with the hope that it'll take her mind off of things.

And it worked.

For a minute.

Before she closed it, now her heart beating a bit faster than usual. Something felt weird. Out of place even, as she stood up, feet hitting the wooden floor.

As a loud grumble came from her insides, her eyes widened in fear and her stomach twisting in nausea.

She was going to throw up.

Quickly, June ran to the bathroom with a hand clasping over her mouth. Once her grip was around the toilet seat, she was ready to let everything out of her stomach, it probably being the soju shots from last night.

But when her lips trembled, when her mouth opened as wide as humanly possible, she realized that she didn't need to throw up as no air was making its way to her lungs.

She couldn't breathe anymore. Just like the curtains after a theater play, the walls were closing in on her, the outlines of her sight were slowly becoming blurry, darker even.

It was a panic attack.

Almost as if choking on water, her lungs have shrunk, the stinging sensation causing her fists to clench as if trying to grasp onto something, only to have her reach for nothing at all.

Now with her whole weight attached to the floor, she tried to calm herself by counting to ten – something her mother had taught her ever since she was able to walk on her own.

So she sat there, on the cold bathroom tiles with her mind seeing numbers. That was a way she was able to calm her senses as her voice would be humming a random song that would last for those exact ten seconds.

One, two, three. Her eyes remained closed, the tingling sensation leaving her fingertips. Four, five, six was the moment her fists weren't clenching the air anymore, her view becoming more clear. Seven, eight, nine, she could feel her lungs being filled with air again.

Now the door bell rang.

And she stood up, pushing herself from the ground and walked towards the front door, opening them instantly.

Ten – was the last second counted as she was met with a sunken face and a pair of puffy eyes that were looking straight at her.

June felt her heart hit the floor beneath her feet, but Jimin's bloodshot eyes wrinkle up as he shared a smile that couldn't hide the fact that he had been crying.

''We broke up.'' Was all his voice said.

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