The Insanity of a Wallflower

Picture Perfect- IV

Rain hammered down the length of my frame as I walked the streets of my neighborhood, retracing the steps that would lead me back home. The wet chill of water engulfed my body, dragging heavily through my clothes, making me shiver at its touch.

A few cars passed me along the road, their tires spraying water and making a swishing noise as they passed by. The chill of the water ached into my cheeks but I didn't mind the sensation.

I smiled softly to myself, enjoying the gentle splattering of the rain. The quiet hum of the raindrops drumming against objects around me. The fragrant smell of the wet world around.

After about twenty minutes I finally found my way to my house. Gazing up at the windows and the light emitting inside, I pictured the heat of the furnace, the soft warmth of my bed. I loved the cold and the fresh air. But I definitely loved the heat and confines of my shelter.

Gladly, I strutted up the front porch steps and entered my house, humming softly to myself between cold breaths.

My feet squeaked onto the floor as an encompassing heat caressed my cheeks, further reminding me that I did indeed like the warmth as much as I had liked the cold. I closed the door behind me and began shuffling out of my coat when a gasp clipped the air behind me.

"Alys!" My mother hissed as she rounded the corner from kitchen across the room, her dark blue gaze glaring at my clothes dripping water all over the hardwood. "You can't just barge in here like this! It's raining, you know that! Strip your shoes and jacket on the porch instead of letting the water damage the new floors."

We both glanced to the floors that had been destroyed by my entrance. "...Mom," I dryly reminded, "You bought water resistant floors because you swore that they were god's holy gift. I haven't done anything that would ruin them."

"What?" She blinked unsure for a moment. "Oh I said no such thing," she finally swatted her hand impatiently at me, "God's holy gift? I would never be so dramatic."

But I could tell that she had composed herself from my words, which meant she really did remember the fiasco of having them installed.

"But even if they are water resistant Alys, they won't clean themselves. This is not rocket science! I have guests coming- I've kept this house immaculate. You should know better." My mother's face scrunched a bit as she said these words. Her auburn hair was pulled tightly and neatly in braided bun, her dark blue eyes narrowed slightly and she tried to loosen the grimace on her pretty face. 

Breathing in deep for a moment she finally continued more professionally. "You know this Hun. But now," her eyes dropped impatiently to the brown muddle, "you have a chore that was never there before. Think before you act Alys. You need to clean this up quickly, I don't want my friends to see this mess when I've spent the day making the rest of the house so presentable."

She turned to face the living room beside us, her hands carefully moving the umbrella holder ever so lightly. She didn't say the words that came next to her mind. She hardly moved her face at all. But I could hear it clearly. See it easily.

She was proud of this room she was in control of. She was pleased with the obedience it seemed to give her; all in the form of consistency, predictability, and self made beauty. It didn't fight her, once molded. It became what she wanted without bouncing back.

It wasn't like me.

My heart had felt tight as she had scolded me. I should know not to take her words to heart, especially after all these years, but I still resented the way she reprimanded me over my trivial mistakes. All the while refusing to acknowledge her own immense ones.