The Painting

#49 For the Sake of Love Part 2 - Ar Mhaithe Le Gra Cuid 2

Lyle came with me the next morning to breakfast. Dania and Evelyn were still away - more than likely enjoying the luxury of sleeping in – and I knew Grace had recruited Tony for another morning of bussing tables. As I began prepping the island countertop with fruits and plates I watched nervously over my shoulder. Grace had never said anything to me outright but I knew through her body language and subtle digs that she pinned Lyle for my disposition of late. In her eyes Lyle and I's 'romantic get away' ended poorly, specifically after Lyle did something so horrendous that I refused to talk about it.

Lyle seemed to notice my agitated state as she organized the silverware. "Everything alright?"

"Um, yea." I lied.

"Did you tell them?"

"No of course not," I laughed uncomfortably. "What could I tell them?"

She nodded conceding my point just as a family of three entered. The parents were fully dressed but their three year old child who clung to her mother's leg wore a sheep dotted green onesie. I ushered them to a table. While I was taking their order Grace and Tony entered. My back was to the side door but I didn't need to see to know that Grace had spotted Lyle. A loud gasp swept the room and I tried to brush it off as I finished with taking the family's order.

I crossed the small room and swung around the island counter to stand in between the two women. Lyle stood in the corner next to my griddle, though not by choice as Grace had trapped her there.

Grace was in full mother hen mode her hands rested on her hips making it difficult for Lyle to squeeze by. I edged myself between the two cutting Grace off just as she finished telling Lyle where she could stuff her apologies. Tony flashed me an apologetic look from behind his fiancé's shoulder as he placed a hand on Grace's waist which she quickly shook off.

"Grace, hey, hi!" I smiled awkwardly. "I see you met Lyle – again – she's going to be staying for a while with me." I paused trying to gauge Grace's feelings.

She was clearly angry but not for herself as her eyes softened upon meeting mine. It was my fault in part for her aggression. I was the one who lied to her and continued to lie by omission. A pang of regret hit me between the ribs and in that moment I wanted nothing more than to sit her down with a cup of tea and explain everything. Where I had been, who Lyle was to me, and why she was suddenly back.

But I couldn't, I knew that.

Initially when I called Grace from the train that night I vowed I would explain everything, every minute detail, once my journey was resolved. Now it looked like it might never be. For the same reason I could never tell her or anyone about my mother I needed to keep Monroe and Mo Soileireacht to myself. There was no 'whole story', not an inkling of conclusion.

How does one begin a story with no beginning and no ending?

How does the story teller stop themselves from constantly reliving the story day in and day out, stuck in a maze of the past?

I'd reverted to my old self, where it was easier to ignore than to explain.

"Grace," I took her hand leading her a few steps away giving Lyle room to breathe. "I know you're mad at Lyle but it's not her fault. I was the one who left her, she didn't do anything wrong."

"How long is she going to be here?" She asked seeming unconvinced.

"I don't know, but she's agreed to help out around the house."

Her hands went back to their place on her hips. "She isn't getting paid."

"That's ok."

Grace paused looking back at Lyle and then Tony who gave her an almost undetectable nod of approval. "You're happy she's here?" She turned back to me.