Ch. 19 - The Big Question

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Shena

"Oh my God. I'm so excited about Jamaica Day on Friday", San said excitedly.

It's another week of school and our principal announced this morning during general devotion that Jamaica Day is on Friday.

"Me too girl. I'ma look lit in ma Jam colours okuuuurrrttttt", Zo laughed.

"Yea yea. We all gon' look lit coz we boujee", Cam said and we laughed.

"Hey ladies", I heard someone say so I turn around and saw Carru and his friends smiling at us.

"Hey boys", San and Cam said in unison.

"May we join you?" Carru asked smiling.

"No", Zoya answered gruffly.

"Stop it Zoya! Yea you may join us boys", San said and Zo rolled her eyes.

Carru sat beside me. Andre sat beside Saneke. Marc and Jake sat beside Zoya and Camesha.

"Are you okay?" Carru asked me.

"Yea, you?" I replied

"I'm cool. Can I ask you something?" He said looking at me.

"Sure".

"Do you hate me?" He asked curiously.

Hmmmm

"Um, no I don't", I answered.

"Why don't you?" He asked.

"Becauz I don't have a reason to", I said simply.

"Okay. Well, I got something to tell you and I need you to really hear me out", he said turning his full attention to me so I did the same.

"Okay. What is it?" I asked curiously. Man, I'm generally interested in what he have to say.

"Ever since the first day I met you in maths class, something in me changed. My first thought when I saw you was 'wow, she's really beautiful '. I went crazy after that, thinking about who you are and how comes I haven't seen you before. When I realized that you were scared of me and didn't like me because of the things I did in the past, I made up my mind to change my dirty ways. You just make me wanna be a better person. I'm so thankful that you came into my sight when you did because you opened my eyes. I did a lot of bad things in the past and I know no amount of apologises can rectify that. But I realize that I can change who I am and become a better person", he said sincerely.

I can't believe it. I make him wanna be a better person? When did he get so emotional and heartfelt?

"Honestly, I didn't know I had feelings, emotions, a conscience and a heart until I met you. The day when you fainted in my arms I felt sad and scared. And I never get scared. After that, seeing you at school, talking to you, just being around you made me happy. When I don't see you I feel lost and tormented and when I see you I feel happy and content. When you smile you bright up my life because you have the most beautiful smile I've ever seen. It just takes my breath away", he said smiling at me.

"I changed my entire life for you Shena. I know you wouldn't like me as a bad boy/player so I gave up all that. I realize it wasn't worth it. I realize what I was doing was wrong and unjust. I know that you're the most important person to me right now. So I'll do anything to make you happy and to make you like me", he said pointedly.

Now I'm at a lost for words. What's going on? Why is he telling me all this? Is he for real? He looks serious and honest but looks can be deceiving. Ahh I'm so confused.

"Wh-what are you saying, Carru? Why are you telling me this?" I asked shakily. Then he took my hands in his and look me straight in the eyes.

"I have fallen in love with you Shena", he said and I gasped.

Wh-what did he just say? Love? Did he just say he's in love with me? Oh my God. This can't be real. I close my eyes and open them but he was still there so it's real.

I'm completely speechless right now. I open my mouth but nothing came out. The words are stuck in my throat.

"I've never been in love before so I didn't understand what love is. So when I talked to my Aunt about how I'm feeling she helped me to understand it. Now I know for sure that I'm in love with you. I see life differently now and I'm happy. Like really happy. And it's all thanks to you Shena", he said smiling at me but I just stared at him blankly.

"I know this will be hard for you to comprehend but I want you to know that I'm honestly telling you this from my heart. And that I'm not tryna play you. I'd never do that. You're too important to me so I'd never try to hurt you intentionally nor unintentionally", he said genuinely.

Wow. This is so much to take it. I can't believe Carru Mitchell is sitting here pouring out his heart to me right now.

"I've got one question to ask you", he said and I nod unable to talk.

"Will you be my first and only official girlfriend?" He asked smiling and I looked at him stunned.

Girlfriend? Whoa! Hold up! Is he serious?

I looked at my girls and they were all staring at Carru and I with stunned expressions. Saneke and Camesha started smiling and Zoya face turn red. Andre, Marc and Jake also smiled. I turn back to Carru and he was looking at me like a lovesick puppy. Wait what?

"Um.. Uh...", I started to say but I just didn't know what to say.

Just then the bell rang meaning that lunch break is up. I quickly jump to my feet and Carru did the same. Ugh. Maths is the next class and we're in the same maths class. Great.

"I need to think about this", I finally managed to say. I then grab San's hand and went to class.

I avoided eye contacts with Carru during maths class. I was glad when class finally ended. For the rest of the day at school I avoided him.

"Oh my God! I can't believe that Carru confessed his love for you! That too in front of us! Oh my God so cool", San cooed.

"I know right. He said everything so perfectly. Nigga really has changed", Cam said grinning.

"Please stop. He's just doing that to get Shena to like him and after he uses her he'll dump her. That's what he does and we all know that", Zoya said pointedly.

"Correction. That's what he used to do. He's changed. I know it, Cam know it, the whole school know it and Shena know it. You need to stop hating on the guy and give him a chance", San said simply.

"He's bad news San. I won't let him play Shena. He's lying. Carru uses girl's all the time coz that's what he does", Zoya said.

"People change Zoya", Cam said.

"Not him though", Zoya said.

"Give the guy a break and open your goddamn eyes!" San yelled.

"Please stop it! I've got a headache and y'all just making it worse. I just wanna go home and sleep", I said walking off.

"Look what you did!" I heard San yelled.

"I didn't do anything! I'm stating facts!" Zoya shouted.

"Bullshit! This is Shena's decision not ours. So let her decide", San said.

Ugh.

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