After August

Goodbye

Chapter 24: Goodbye
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AirRen

I could still smell her scent in her clothes and in the sheets of her bed. Months had pasted and I still couldn't get over the fact that the only family I had left included two small children.

"Ren you gotta eat something." Mama Alsina called from the threshold of the door.

"I'm fine. I just have to finish packing ma." I managed to get out in between sobs.

"Look, Kat wouldn't want to see you like this baby. Think of her and Andrea every time you see Aug and Seppie. That's how I get through Mel's death everyday, because those 3 little girls need someone."

I wanted my family back. I wanted my mom, Mel, Kat and even August. I was heart broken.

"I shouldn't have moved so far. I should have been here with her. I should have kno-"

"Kat was my best friend and I didn't know until the ending, CoCo. She didn't want to tell anyone because she didn't want it to be real. She was sick before you guys left Houston."

The words burned. I couldn't face the facts. She did everything to make sure I had a good life and I was off getting pregnant by someone I thought loved me.

"I was selfish, mama." I cried

"How? If anything you made Kat grow up. Before you came into her life Kat was a hot mess!" She joked. "She was so proud of you. Even when the lil ones came."

"I wish she could have met them." I slightly smiled.

"Trust me she's looking over you baby girl. You, Seppie and Aug."

I smiled at her. She was right, Kat was just another guardian angel I could look up to.

"How is he? " I blurted out looking at AJ play with the toys in the hallway.

She turned away from the boxes of clothes. "He's good. He's been working hard tryna get his name out there. Mixtapes, YouTube videos, and shows at clubs in Houston. He's gon make it. I just know it." A smile washed over her face.

"That's good. I'm happy for him."

"You know he misses you. He wanted to come back but he was booked for shows." She said looking at my face.

"Ma please don't start!" I chuckled. "Aug and I are both grown. We've both moved on. I'm happy he's coming up but he's not what I need in my life. "

"You may not need him but those kids do. Yall both know what it feels like to grow up with fathers who aren't there on a regular."

"Aug doesn't need to know he's a father. I've been doing it this long without him."

I didn't care if I was being selfish. Aug was still probably with that hoe Nikkei and he was making a name for himself in the music industry. I wasn't part of his plan anymore and he wasn't apart of mine.

"Look baby girl all I'm saying is one day its gon come a time when your gonna be forced to tell him. Don't wait til its too late."

I shook my head gathering more boxes. She was right but AJ and Seppie were doing just find without Aug. I didn't care about him nor need him anymore.

{Author's Note: Some of the songs that I use by August will be use for the chapters because it fits but sometimes won't match up with when the song was made.}

August

"So you sayin' the place ain't gon be ready til Tuesday. "

This apartment lookin' in a different state was driving me crazy. I wanted to move to Atlanta because it brought better opportunities for a niggah. Alotta people get discovered there and I wanted to be one of them.

"August its either look for another place or wait til Tuesday." Nikkei replied.

This bitch was always getting on my nerves. I hated that we started talking again but she was rider and a good fuck.

"You gon have all the shit in there by Tuesday? I need it to be ready when I come out there. "

"It will baby. I promise. I love you Aug."

"Bye Nikkei." I said before hanging up the phone.

She was always saying shit like that. I didn't love Nikkei. She was here because she made a niggah feel needed. I ain't neva loved a girl except AirRen but she didn't give a fuck about me. She was probably dating some wannabe doctor niggah she met in med school.

"Alright run it back. I need it to be perfect."

I wanted this mixtape to be perfect. It was the first one I was putting out. I had sung plenty of times on YouTube and at clubs but my supporters wanted more from me. I needed to give them more.

"Go head and lay sum mo' shit down." Tone said looking through beats.

"Find a good beat for me." I asked putting on the headphones looking through my lyrics. I had been writing shit down again since we came to Houston and I wanted to get it out. I came across sum lyris that I had wrote about Nikkei scheming ass.

"Now you feel played, you're turnt out

I didn't mean to do it but you knew what it was

But you went on pretendin' that me and you is us

Now you think I'm acting different, sayin' I'm a stranger

You say I'm self destructive and I hate to forget ya

But really I'm just livin' the best way I know how

If you didn't like me then, then you gon really hate me now

Cause I got bitches on the side, down to slide to wherever

The just want me for the night but you want me forever

I ain't ready for commitment, girl I got a hit list." I sung into the Mic.

'Buzz. .. buzz ... buzz' my phone vibrated.

"Wessup mama?"

"How you doing son?"

"Good. Just at the studio finishing up the tape." I replied looking through the notebook. "How you doing? "

"I'm good. Just packing the rest of Kat's things so CoCo can get back to Atlanta. She's been away from school too long. " she chuckled.

Still hearing her name made me feel sum typa way. That girl had a hold on me and I couldn't let her go. I loved her but I wasn't what she wanted anymore. I fucked up and she never spoke to me again.

"How's the apartment search in Atlanta? Since you wanna leave your sweet mother in Houston all alone." She was always so dramatic but it always made me smile.

"Great! Nikkei having everything moved by Tues-."

"That lil tramp moving out there with yo, Aug?"

Ma hated Nikkei just as much as I did but it was o because she knew Nikkei was a hoe that knew how to play the game. The only girl she trusts for me is CoCo.

"Just for a lil bit, ma. You know ion mess wit ha like that." I laughed.

"Mhm you need to talk to baby girl. Get that shit back together." She sounded serious.

"Ma! Don't start CoCo ain't checking for me no mo."

"Im not gon say nun else. Just don't let these hoes get you caught up. I love you baby boy."

"I love you too ma."

"Alright lets do it again. " I signaled Tone to play back the beat.
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