✔️ 𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐕𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄 → 𝑠. 𝑏𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑘

05 | F E E L S

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   "You?"

   Emerald green eyes widened behind circular glasses, Harry Potter seemed more than surprised to see Margo standing in the Dursley's living room amongst all those strange people. Her lips were twitching in amusement, the thoughts running through Harry's head were plain readable. Why from all the people was it Cornelius Fudge's daughter coming here to fetch him?

   "I know, I know", she said, chuckling. "I'll explain everything to you later. If we won't head of now, Mad-Eye will flay us."

   It was a more than pleasurable variety from everyday's boredom to fly across half England in the middle of the night to save the great Harry Potter from the ministry.

   But on the other hand she just wished for Sirius to have been given this opportunity as well. The look in his eyes as they left was unbearable, even as he tried to hide it behind a smile. So as the wind was blowing through her hair, she couldn't fully enjoy it, her thoughts circling around Sirius.

   But when she that night, after bringing Harry to the safety of Grimmauld Place, met Sirius in the kitchen once more, his mood was better than ever before. 

   Those nightly meetings became a routine; but one Margo liked. Talking to Sirius had something soothing, and even though he never stayed long with her in the basement kitchen, she enjoyed those nightly couple of  minutes.

   And so did Sirius. Way too much. When Margo was entering the room, it was like fireworks exploding. He loved spending time with the young woman, but couldn't take it staying longer than a couple of minutes in the same room with her alone. His mind was traitorous, filling his brain with thoughts that clearly didn't belong there. He did no longer just dream of her. Margo Adelaide Fudge became an omnipresent creature roaming every corner of his head. And there was no counterspell, no cure, no potion.

   The crux was, Sirius Orion Black was addicted to forbidden things. Even when he was a kid, there was nothing he did with more passion than getting himself into trouble. That brought him loads of detentions, countless points taken from Gryffindor, and twelve years in Azkaban. So you could think Sirius was knowing better after all that punishment. Well, the part fleeing the kitchen minutes after Margo entered for sure did. The part previously heading down to the kitchen with the intention to wait for her definitely did not.

   Still laying awake at two a.m. he instinctively grabbed for the diary. It was not that he intented to find anything new in there. So he skipped empty pages, magically deleted after he'd read her notes, when suddenly fine lines turned into well known shapes of words, building sentence after sentence. She was awake. And she was sharing her restless night with him.

    Dear Padfoot,

   nights have something strange, don't they? Never is my mind feeling more free than at 2 a.m., and this is a really strange mind in those late hours. I wonder what my father would say about this thoughts. Oh, but to be honest it's no riddle what he would think about them. He probably would disown me, if he for sure hadn't already done so.

   Aren't feeling some bastards? Excuse my choice of words, but I can't find any more accurate to describe them. I know I shouldn't feel like that. Every cell in my body knows. I am confused, I guess. Still my breakup with Percy is messing me up. It's not really Percy I miss. It's the feeling of someone caring for me in that way I thought Percy did. I miss the feeling of being in love. Does my mind therefore betray me with that feeling of actually being in love? Do I fall for a person, or do I fall for the thought of being in love again?

   2 a.m. thoughts are the cruelest. I probably should stop my midnight wandering to the kitchen. It doesn't do me well. I lose my rationality. I —

   Suddenly the message was gone. She'd deleted it. She didn't want him to read it, unaware that he'd sucked up every single word she had planned to share with him, before she decided that she better shouldn't. And he was well aware that he was in big trouble.

·

   Margo had stopped coming to the kitchen at night. She'd feared Sirius would ask her why, but he didn't. Maybe because he didn't mind her not being there. That might was the reason he always left minutes after her arrival. Maybe he just don't want to have her feeling uncomfortable by asking her. And of course Margo wouldn't ask him why he didn't ask her.

   Summer was passing and the house was almost fully cleaned the day before the younger ones would head back to Hogwarts. Sirius was in an awful mood by now, mostly because Harry was leaving by tomorrow. Mr and Mrs Weasley were about to return to the Burrow, and Remus, who at least partially had stayed at Grimmauld Place, had gotten the task to go spy on the werewolf and would also leave.

   "Already packed?", Sirius asked Margo in the middle of the last meal in company with the whole Weasley family, Remus, Tonks and Mad-Eye.

   "What do you mean?", she asked, cocking an eyebrow.

   "You'll for sure stay with Molly and Arthur, don't you?", Sirius said, looking at his plate.

   "Oh — oh, erm — sure", she stammered, turning crimson. She hadn't packed. She hadn't planned to leave. But that was obviously what he wanted. "I — Now you mention it, I think I forgot — I better check if I haven't forgotten anything."

   With hasty steps she left the kitchen before Sirius could even react. Pushing the door behind her shut, she leaned against it, covering her face in her hands for a second, before she pulled out the trunk under her bed and started throwing in the few of her belongings.

   That night she didn't write Padfoot. She just didn't know what to tell him. It was again two in the morning and she couldn't find sleep. Getting out of bed, her feet automatically dragged her down to the kitchen. And to her surprise it wasn't empty.

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