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Chapter 12: Mamihlapinatapei

(Mamihlapinatapei: A wordless yet meaningful look shared by two people who both desire to initiate something but are both reluctant to start.)

There are a few moments in life in which you see yourself falling in an endless void and there's nothing you can do that will save you from the inevitable crash against its depths.

Taehyung was falling when Jungkook was about to speak, about to finally reveal the words he's been hiding for who knows how long.

But then the door burst open, an invisible hand holding him up and dragging him back to the surface.

Taehyung turns around at the abrupt sound, cursing internally as he sees his best friend holding a bag of trash in one hand, eyes wide as he scans the situation he just interrupted. Jungkook is still being held against the wall as he eyes the two friends who stare at each other with very different expressions. He sighs, taking advantage of Taehyung's distraction and pushing him off him.

"Wait, Jungkook," the older quickly reacts not without sending one last glare at Jimin as if saying 'look what you've done'. He reaches out to grab the younger's arm and stop him on his tracks, but he's faster than him and before he can even catch up to him on the hallway, he's already walking down the stairs, not even waiting for the elevator to come. He wants to get away that fast.

Taehyung bites at his lip and slowly turns around, Jimin sending him an apologetic smile as he says, "I'm so sorry, I just had to get the trash out. I didn't know you two---"

Tae groans, shaking his head in disbelief. "Just five more minutes. I swear Jimin, five more minutes and he'd---"

"He'd what?" Jimin asks, right eyebrow raised in curiosity.

What was he about to say?

"I don't know," he sighs resigned, as he approaches the door. "He said he doesn't want me anymore but I don't believe him. There's something he's not telling me."

"Find out, then," Jimin shrugs, opening the door for Taehyung to walk through as he starts making his way down the hallway Jungkook has previously been in.

"Oh, I will," Tae nods, a smile tempting his lips despite his mood.

The thing is, he doesn't. Approaching Jungkook at the office is futile; he really doesn't want to have anything else to do with him. And what other way does he have to find out than the guy himself? It's not like anyone else knows the answer he keeps locked inside. And Taehyung tries. He does, but the younger keeps pushing him away with excuses until not even his assistant lets him knock on his door. It's like being exiled.

After a week goes by though, Taehyung thinks he better just move on. There's only so much he can endure either way. He's tired of watching from afar as Hoseok and Jungkook joke around during lunch and wishing he could have Japan all over again. He can't. But he's cold during the night, his blankets thin, his skin and lips missing the touch and pleasure only Jungkook could grant him. He hadn't realized how much he needed him, how at ease he had become around the younger.

Seokjin is sending him an apologetic look from across the couch, eyes soft as he tells him Namjoon is coming over later for dinner. Taehyung doesn't feel like seeing his boss in the slightest, but he nods anyway because the way Jin's eyes shine whenever he says the other's name is too beautiful to snatch it away simply because he's bitter. Seokjin squeezes his hand before walking off towards the kitchen, claiming dinner would take a lot of time to prepare.

Taehyung sighs and wonders if he could scurry off the apartment without nobody noticing.

"Go get the door for me, will you?" Jin asks Taehyung with a saccharine smile, hands busy as he takes a batter out of the fridge and immediately starts mixing it with another batter of the same color that was previously in the microwave. Tae frowns, not understanding what the hell is going on in the kitchen as he heads for the door.

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