I Would Kill For You

35. Become The Beast

❝ there's a fine line between genius and insanity. i have erased this line.❞

oscar levant

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Author's Note: This chapter contains some heavy content and dark themes. 

I want to dedicate it to KaylaLeBlanc02, who read all 34 chapters in one go! Thank you for your support  :)

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"I need..." I trailed off, trying to control the quaver of my voice. "I need to go to the bathroom." 

I sounded foreign, even to myself. 

Was Joseph the killer? Was that why Damian had been acting so strange and had told me to call the police? But how could he know for sure? 

Nothing made sense to me. I felt the walls closing in on me and the oxygen leaving my lungs.

Joseph noticed my strangled timbre and turned around, scanning my face with a concerned frown.

"Are you all right? You're a bit pale." 

I felt the violent need to laugh in his face. I knew I had to put up a facade and act as if everything was normal, but it was much harder than I had expected. I wanted to throw the jewellery box with Gabrielle's earring at his feet and see his reaction. Perhaps Damian was misreading the situation and Joseph had nothing to do with the crimes, but why was he carrying a gun then?  

I had to maintain my composure, just like Damian did, but I was never good at controlling my emotions. I wasn't a good actress, and judging by Joseph's look, he was already suspecting something. 

"She's fine." Damian responded calmly, though quite defensively. 

I realized I was holding my breath again; it became a habit of mine whenever I was stressed. I took a gulp of air and on an impulse, I inquired reprovingly:

"Why are you carrying a gun, Joseph?" 

The moment I voiced that out loud I regretted it, but there was no going back now. Damian's jaw clenched and his stance turned taut, as if he was on alert for a possible attack. It was reckless of me to ask that, but I was tired of all the webs of secrets and lies woven around me. I wanted the truth, no matter how much it would hurt. 

My question didn't unnerve him at all, or if it did, he didn't show it. He went on with the tea as if he hadn't heard me and placed the cups on the table. He gestured for us to sit, resting his arms on the top rail of the chair. 

"Oh, just for precaution. You both got quite the temper, especially my brother." he said with a serene expression, and that's when I knew I got it all wrong.

Damian was never the fallen angel. It was Joseph all along, with his kind eyes and beguiling persona. I was so harrowed and devastated by Avery's death and Ellie's betrayal, that I had put up a halo above Joseph's head, weening him a sacred personage. He was always there when I needed him, even when Damian wasn't (though that was entirely my fault), with just the right words and warm embraces. He had wiped my tears and stood up all night with me on the phone when I was haunted by nightmares and was too afraid to sleep again, had gone to every party I went just to keep an eye on me and make sure I wouldn't get too drunk. He was perfect in every aspect. 

I should have known better that perfection didn't exist. 

"Sit down. We need to negotiate." he continued.