If only

Chapter 10

'Kennedy'
I take another step down the seemingly endless hallway. I clutch my books at the sight that makes me sick to my stomach, Alexis hugging some random girl. I just stand there a tear forming in my eye as I rush off to class.

*Lunch*

I head into the cafeteria to receive yet more awful food, I glance at the board. Spaghetti and meatballs, great. I groan as I head over to a table with my food. I'm not really hungry so I just look around, then I notice Alexis and that girl giggling, acting the way we used to. I sigh and pull out my phone before beginning to write.
I lied
I'm sorry I didn't tell you.
I'm sorry I couldn't do it.
I'm sorry I didn't tell you the truth.
I'm sorry I messed up.
I'm sorry I didn't tell you that I was in love.
I'm sorry I couldn't be there.
I'm sorry for all of this.
I'm sorry I didn't believe you.
And I'm sorry that I quit.
I'm sorry my heart wouldn't let me.
I'm sorry that I bothered you.
I'm sorry that I cared.
I'm sorry I couldn't hurt you.
I'm sorry I couldn't watch you be judged.
I'm sorry I couldn't watch it because you were the one I loved.
I'm sorry that I added you.
I'm sorry we were friends.
I'm sorry I thought I could trust you.
I'm sorry to see the end.
I'm sorry for being me in a world where I can't.
I'm sorry for being in love with you.
I'm sorry for everything.
I'm sorry that I walked in.
I'm sorry I ruined our friendship.
I'm sorry the lie became too much.
I promise you no matter what happens you'll still be the one I love.
I'm sorry that I couldn't tell you.
I'm sorry.
I'm just sorry.
If only I could just go back and keep my feelings to myself then I wouldn't have lost my best friend. I feel a hand over top of mine and notice Anna sit down beside me. Hey beautiful, she kisses my forehead. Hey. I sigh again. Anna glances at me and wraps her arm protectively over my shoulder. Kamryn, 15, straight, homophobic, comes from picture perfect heterosexual family. Cheer captain at her last school, total slut, had 2 abortions, barely passed classes. I laugh. You know me so well and what the fuck is she doing with her? Oh no here they come. I groan as Anna wraps her arm around my waist. So BABY about that date tonight? I nod, yeah 7? She smiles as I lean my head on her shoulder. And That's the school dyke and slut Annabelle. She got pregnant last year and slept with every girl in the school since. I feel my anger fume as Alexis and Kamryn walk over to us. And this is Kennedy, my best friend, straight as a ruler. Anna and I burst out laughing. I smile, is that why my GIRLFRIEND is sitting beside me. Alexis glares at me and Kamryn looks shocked. I lean over and kiss Anna. Ewww!! Kamryn shrieks causing the entire cafeteria to stare at us. A couple of closeted kids start clapping, teachers don't seem too impressed nor do most of the students but in this moment I don't care, right now it's just Anna and I.